This photo inspires me all the time.

Stuck in the Moment

I am so proud of the people who made this! They did such a good job and I just want to keep it forever so here it is :)

Let's get down to business

So this semester is just a little under a month old, and it was going very well. I was playing with my friends, and getting good grades, and I was even a litle bit tanner than when it first started. But then something happened. I logged onto my school account and saw some red writing at the side of my page.  I did a double-take and saw with deep sadness that I had....a bad grade. A really, really bad grade.

I gazed at it with deep sadness. A bad grade already. It was right there, staring me in the face, making me feel crummy and disappointed in myself.

Now, bad grades are not a novel concept in my life. Why in the world would I be going to BYU-I DO if they were? But. This semester was going to change all that. I was going to fix so many things by being good this semester. I was determined to not let anything stop me.

I also set other goals, and I was doing okay at the end of last semester and the beginning of this one, but then I just stopped. Then I just started getting bad grades in life.

NO.

I will NOT allow this to go on! This semester is freaken young. I am freaken young. I can do anything I set my freaken mind to. I don't know why I freaken keep using the word freaken.

So anyway, here is my list of goals for the rest of this semester. I've set up several things that will make me accountable for the execution of these goals, so in conclusion, I am not allowed to fail. Here they are....

• Get straight freaken As
• Get math homework done by Thursday at 5pm. That is a full 24 hours before it is due. For the past two weeks I've had to stay up until 6 in the morning doing this crap because I don't want to leave it until after my Friday classes, which end at 1:45. HOWEVER, I have been staying up until freaken 6 in the morning doing it, so of course I sleep through my Friday classes, and that, kids, is NOT okay.
• Go to all of my classes. I am officially not allowed to miss class ever again unless I am out of town. I don't care how tired I am or how shizzy I look, I will be getting my butt up that hill.
• Go on Sunday walks. The girls that I'm living with next year go on Sunday walks. Heather says that she walks for hours and she loves it and I think that I would love that too. I haven't decided if I want to join them or go off on my own but Sunday walks sounds like a really good Sunday activity.
• Listen to good Sunday music on Sunday. I think a problem that I have is that I haven't been making Sunday very special lately. So from now on I will make Sunday a special day. I will get up earlier than I usually do (which, for your information was 12:21ish and I have church at 1). I might even eat breakfast! I will make myself pretty and listen to beautiful Sunday music. It doesn't have to be EFY but like, Celtic women or Josh Groban or "The Prayer," by Andrea Bocelli and Josh Groban!
• Be an awesome FHE mom!
• Tone down the internet distractions. This means less facebook, less netflix, less everything!
• Drink green smoothies so I'll have high iron and I'll be able to give blood whenever I want to! I saw a sign for an upcoming blood drive and I nearly peed myself. I am SO EXCITED. Also, a sidenote praise for myself.... I was at the store with Merrin the other day, shopping it up as we do, and I found myself walking straight for the spinach. My feet are so smart! They know where I truuuuely want to go! :)
  I also have been mixing them up lately. I got blackberry-pomegranate yogurt and put blackberries and blueberries and orange juice and spinach all together for a delicious party! And then the last time I was shopping I got strawberry-kiwi yogurt and strawberry-orange sunrise or something like that and moreee blackberry-pomegranate and just plain peach and strawberry and just lotsa different kinds! I should really write a blogpost only about these smoothies because I love them so much and I've gotten all my friends into them. And what's funny is that it was my Grandpa that got my mom into them who got me into them, so really my Grandpa is a trendsetter. Whodda thunk? :)
• Do the Men's Fitness workout thing! I was so good at it when I was doing it once upon a time!
• Do laundry once every two weeks. You don't even want to know how often I usually do my laundry. Okay wait that makes me sound gross. I'm not, I just have a lot of clothes.
• Lay out with Heather 2+ times a week. She lays out in the morning and I don't have morning classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I really should be doing something productive with my life.
• Have lunch with Brittany once a week. Thursdays, if you must know.
• Hang out with Chels once a week. Whenever we have a moooment for some FUN.
• Hang out with KD and Sophia more often. We are going CAMPING this weekend hopefully and I am sooo excited. I love these girls and it is an absolute crime that I don't see them more often. The other day KD said to Sophia and I, "You know that....we're the only ones left. Lindsey isn't coming back until after her mission and Paige is getting married and moving to England. It's just us." And it made us all very melancholy but happy that we had each other.
• Get Paige a crimper or cocomotion for a wedding gift. I will be looking everywhere for these items!
• Floss every day! I used to be so good at this! Siiighh.
• Be a better friend. I think I could be a lot better than I have been. I think sometimes I just take people for granted maybe? Like, I'm not mean, but I could be better. I have some specific people in mind or this goal, but it's also just a general goal that I have for myself.
• No more naps! I am officially saying no to this practice!
• Be frugal! I really, reaaallly want to go to Disney World with Chels at the end of this semester but in order to do that I need to have a specific amount of money. So. I needna continue being AWESOME.
• Give clothes to the DI. I have way too much and I need to let someone else enjoy what I do not! And then I can get new clothes!
• In addition to this, I need to set up a job for the off-track. I want to have one lined up at the beginning of July, if possible. I really hope to be able to work for M+M again, but who knows? We'll see.
• Get a job at school?? That would be so awesome!
• Have daily scripture study and prayer. I think that I should do my scripture study maybe in the morning? I feel rushed in the evening because I just want to go to sleep. Also, I want to be kneeling for my morning and evening prayers because that's more respectful and also I bet it'll help me concentrate more.

Okay, I think that's good for now. Hooray, hooray! :)

Gilbert

is CUTE. I couldn't even believe it.

I was in the Living Room and Tom and Tara were watching Anne of Green Gables. And then Anne totally fell into the river and Gilbert effing saved her. And asked to be her friend. And it was soooo sweet! And I was baffled. I was like, "Gilbert is cute?? What?!" I freaked out, guys, because I never even knew it. I never knew it at all.

This may or may not be an analogy for my life.

You're In My Head

If any of you are wondering a typical conversation I have with myself, well today is your lucky day. A few weeks ago I had the following conversation in my head....

"I should really blog soon. I should blog about Utah! That is a good idea, Nicole. Start it tonight!"

Later on....

Okay go on, blooogg already!
But I don't want to blog about Utah. I want to blog about how crappy my life is.
Nicole, your life is sooo not crappy. All these great things have happened to you just today!
Like whaatt??
Weeelll you got to tan.
I didn't tan. I only burned on two awkward part of my legs. Whaaatt is up with that?? There Heather is, over there, beezing a bronze goddess and all you have to show for three hours in the sun is NOTHING but those embarrassing marks on your legs. You are a failure.
No, no, Nicole you are so not! You are so cute! Bemember how that guy was totally hitting on you at the pool? That's something!
Hmmjes, but I basically ran away from him and then went and got karma-ed up in the form of a bad tan sunburn :(
Buuuuttt, but! your sunburn will turn INto a tan!
Oh wonderful. I will have two abnormally dark mark on my legs. I'm sure I will make so many friends.
Oh shut up you are being so whiny.

:)

Diamond in the Rough

Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what outside, but what is inside that counts. This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man, who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed.

A diamond in the rough.

And now another one....

And of course we cannot forget Susan Boyle....

And this one just makes me cry my eyes out so I had to put it in here....

I LOVE these performances. They are amazing, fantastic, mind-boggling. The talent these people have is astounding. But what really strikes me about these clips is how humble these people are. They have clearly been through the mill when it comes to life. Jonathan was made fun of- all of his life he was made fun of. Sung-bong Choi was dumped at an orphanage at age three and beaten until he finally ran away. Susan Boyle was underestimated and belittled. Why? Why do people think they have the right to be mean?

As I watched these clips I just about bawled my eyes out. It is so easy to judge by appearances. I do it, you do it. The first thing I look for is if someone has a uni-brow. There is no stopping it, but you don't need to let that be the only thing you base your opinion on.

That boy Jonathan is so shy and nervous and timid. He is soo low on his confidence level it's a little bit unbelievable. That might be stage fright, but I think it's also, as he himself says, a result of the mistreatment he went through since elementary school. Why in the world were those kids so mean to him? Because he looked a little different? Because he wasn't awesome at basketball or whatever they call it over there? I'm so glad he has Charlotte. She is so kind and supportive of him. I hope all of those kids who were mean to him feel really crummy right now.

With Sung-bong Choi he was abandoned. Now, I don't know his family's circumstance but it is so sad that a child at age three was left at an orphanage. By that time he had gotten to know his family a little bit, and he probably loved them too. My lil guy was just barely two when I came back to school and already he was talking and everything! I can only imagine how traumatizing that abandonment must've been for poor little Sung-bong Choi, but then it got even worse because the people at the orphanage would beat him! How in the world did those people get hired?! I want them all fired and in jail right now. Anyone who is cruel to children have no excuses and they deserve every bad thing society can throw at them.

I do not know if Susan Boyle was ever hurt by mean words before, but everyone was so scoffing an skeptical at the beginning of the video. Hmph. So glad she proved them wrong.

I know that if people judged by appearances alone I wouldn't have nearly as many friends as I do now. This isn't a stab at my appearance, it's more of an acknowledgment of the attractive level of my friends. I have really pretty/handsome friends, guys. Once upon a time two groups of my friends met, and a boy who I wasn't really friends with implied that I only want them all to meet so they could see how pretty my friends were, thinking that I was superficial B who bases her friendship on looks.

I have a theory of why my friends are so pretty/handsome- they are this way bc they are so nice. I firmly believe that people who are kind are beautiful, and they stay beautiful. Whenever I am being snobby, or flat-out mean I can see it happen- I get ugly. It's true. In contrast, whenever I am trying especially hard to be nice I always get compliments and make new friends. I'm telling you- the best beauty trick is being kind.

And I think that that is why I love these videos so much. These performers are just so beautiful to me bc of their kind hearts and boldness. They've had such a bad time of it, but they still managed to remember that they have a fabulous gift and they went and they shared it and they got all these people to root for them. Their stories have hopefully done a lot of good and I know for a fact that I am not the only one who cried while watching them step out of their shells. Holy chicago I love underdogs.

I love shows like this, bc once you sift through all the egos and advertising and ordinary you get to this stuff, the amazing stuff. You hear stories that break your heart, and see performances that you feel from your toes to your head. You get to be a part of a stunned audience of millions that sees someone who has not yet been so beaten that they can't try one more time, even though by all accounts a lesser person would be. I am so incredibly grateful that they had the courage to share their gifts.

They are wonderful.

They are fabulous!

They are, the very definitions of diamonds in the rough.