Brittany is very sought after: Part Two

Today in math class something crazy happened. It was so crazy, that as we were witnessing it, Chelsea leaned over to me and whispered,

"Is this real life?"

I'm lying. Chelsea is not one for subtlety. It's okay. I still love her. But anyway, it was really crazy. This is what we looked like for basically the first 20 minutes of class

Here is what happened. Today as we were walking to class, Chelsea, Heather, and I saw a very attractive black man. He looked like this

We'll call him Seaweed. This really has nothing to do with anything, except for the fact that he is going to be my best friend.

Anyway.

Well, I guess it does have something to do with anything bc he was talking to Captain America,

but I am still willing to be Seaweed's best friend. He deserves more in his bffaeaes than wanna-be homewreckers. Except for the fact that today Captain America sat lonely and dejected at the end of a row. I was like, wow. Wow wow WOW wow. And I feel bad and sad all over for him.

So today Chelsea and I walked into class and we saw our friend Brittany! This is really good, bc she hasn't been to the last TWO classes, so you know that we were sad. We were so sad and bored last class that finally, 20 minutes to the end, we couldn't TAKE IT anymore and we stalked and stalked and stalked that girl until we were victorious.

I am not even kidding, it was the most intense stalking sesh of my life. I feel like I have reached a new level of awesomeness. I felt like a combination of Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, and some awesome CIA agent. Here is how awesome I am. I knew three things about her THREE, and I was able to narrow down all of our search options until we found her exactt address. Chelsea and I are like Batman and Robin. I mean Sherlock and Watson.

And I will address it, bc I know we're all thinking it. How does Watson look sooo good when he has that awful creeper mustache??

So back to today. We walked in and Brittany was sitting there. We greeted her with hugs, laughter, and tears. I am lying. But we weree really happy to see her. Then we expressed our joy at her upcoming reunion with this guy....

....and she told us BAD NEWS. And it is this; Basically Cute Wasian told her friend via fb that he was only interested in beezing friends with Brittany. And then he told her something else. He said that he has a girlfriend! But Brittany says that according to fb that is not so! So he is either lying, or very secretive about his love life. Either way, I am mad. I kneww he was bad news when Brittany told me he was in a band. You know how I feel about those things.

So as we were all setting fire to random objects in our rage, this cute guy came into class! Well, I'm not sure if he's cute bc he's sitting in front of us. Next to Brittany. Because Brittany is very sought after. I'm sure he looks like this

We will call him Scruff, bc he is a MAN and wants everyone to know it, so he didn't shave today. ssk. Remember, he rocks it. He is cute.

So then he saw Brittany and raced over, the wind from his speed putting out our pitiful caveman fires and fanning the flames of fiery passion in Brittany's heart! However, CONFLICT! Cute Wasian walked into the class just as Scruff was halfway to his desired chair! Cute Wasian looked sad. Cute Wasian looked mad! Cute Wasian looked like this

But Cute Wasian had lost. Scruff was in the lead and he sat next to Brittany. He smiled winningly down at her. Brittany smiled back. Cute Wasian was really sad, bc Brittany is very sought after and he had lied. However, he tried to be a good sport and sit next to Scruff.

He looked over and waved friend-ily over at Brittany, trying to communicate to Scruff that he was a big tennis ball stuck in the middle of a love sandwich. Aka, he didn't belong in between him and Brittany. But he's wrong. Scruff does belong there! If he is worthy, and that we have yet to decide. Brittany politely flapped her arm back at Cute Wasian and then focused on what Scruff was saying.

Scruff: Hi. I'm hot.

Brittany: Oh! Hi, you are.

Cute Wasian (Under his breath): He's not that cute. I am sad that I was stupid!

Chelsea and Nicole: Cute Wasian, we wish you had been smarter. At least you are still a little cute, even though you're a tool.

Now back to the budding romance. Scruff gazed into Brittany's eyes, leaned over....and then....shook her hand.

I mean, I guess it's okay. He's prolly just this so-awkward recent RM. He asked her where she was from. She asked him where he was from. I kicked her chair fourish times in my joy that simply could not be expressed in a different way. She tried to casually swat my foot away out of his line of vision. Very sneaky.

They seemed to hit it off. He kept looking over at her. Chelsea and I broke out a package of Disney Princess fruit snacks to celebrate. Huh. It's a wonder I ever get anything done in this math class.

However, all is not well in the land of Stats class. Remember that so-beautiful couple that wouldd have happened had Captain America not intervened and ruined everything?? Yeah. Today the cute boy sat behind her a-gain. He sat next to this blonde girl who was wearing a cute red and white striped shirt. Whatever.

OH MY GOSH! I just looked over at them to find something to criticize about her when I realized that HE is also wearing a blue and red striped shirt! That dorkmobile! He only likes her bc they kind of match! If he was sitting next to the girl that he shouldd be sitting next to they would be the American flag, bc she's only wearing white! And you KNOW that that is better.

I would like to pause and say that this is prolly the spazziest blog post of my life.

And speaking of matching- if Cute Wasian had sat next to Brittany they would have basically been the American flag too. All of these patriotic couples need to get together! For our nation's sake!

So that is why Chelsea said, "Is this real life?" bc all of these crazy things were going down all around us. It's no big deal, math class is very interesting is all.

And Brittany wins, bc she is going on twoo dates this weekend. Because Brittany is very sought after.  Take that, Cute Wasian!

PS: Also, Chelsea and I have these awesome matching green water bottles that we got together and we always make it a point to clink glasses once every two seconds. It's no big deal, but today she forgot hers so we just pretended her hand was her bottle. I guess we might've looked a lil dorky. Whoops.

PPS: We learned something today in math class, and that is that "fun is where you put it."

....thaaatt's what she said.

PPPS: Something mean has bitten me on my arm near my right wrist. I feel angry and betrayed and I don't even know how or where or when it happened.

PPPPS: Today I got a letter! From Elder Nuss! i am so excited :) But there is one big problem- it is in Maryland and you knoww that makes me sad bc I am not! My mommy is sending it over to me and apparently it is very well decorated and he is trying to learn cursive! She says that this is very unlike him, and I agreed, saying solemnly, "the mission is changing him I guess." I hope it changes him to the point that he is a more consistent letter-writer. Few and far between is just bothering me at this point. New Years resolution for him thurr right thurr.

I am also supposed to be getting a package from my family and a letter from Johnny! And I sent a letter to Carlos just today! I am obviously a rock star and everyone knows it.

PPPPPS: I ALMOST FORGOT! So Scruff was trying to send a manly message today right?? Well, he took it a step further. He pulled the Raymond from Aquamarine! As in he stretched all innocently, but really he wanted to communicate to all the boys in the vicinity that he could and would beat them up and to all the girls that he was awesome. And boyyy did we get the message. This is what he looked like,

I couldn't find a picture of him doing the famous stretch thing. This is what we looked like,

because of his utter hottitude. It's whatever.

Here is what I have decided....

It is okay to try. If it doesn't happen, I can always try again. There is nothing wrong with trying, not a thing. However, there is something wrong with not trying, because this is an incredible opportunity, and I really feel like I need to try.

I would really like to succeed at this, though. It would be such an incredible experience and I would feel so cool telling everyone what I had achieved. I would learn and grow and be in a place that I love.

It is okay if it doesn't work out the way I thought, because I have other things that I can do. This is a great opportunity to get ready for more things to try for in the future. Maybe that's why I need to do it, so I'll be all ready when the time is right.

And just because something doesn't happen the way I want it to, does not mean that I am a failure, or not right for that position, or that Heavenly Father doesn't love me. It does not mean that at all. It just means that I will have to try again.

And I can do that.

Dear couples at BYU-I

Please stop roaming around the BYU-I Center and going up to paintings that are righttt next to my study space and being all affectionate. Excuse me. Stop now.

Dear bad parent,

You need to go to a Parenting 101 class. No, it is not okay to leave your screaming infant on the floor and simply sit there while she looks at you and cries her eyes out. Pick her up, walk her around, get her outta our study space. Also, those weird slobber-y sounds you make while trying to comfort her do not seem to be working. Stop it.

Dear girl on the phone in the Hinckley study space,

Hang up or move. I am about to chuck that phone down the mountain.

Dear wind,
No one likes you. Go away.

PS- Sometimes, you come at the worst times. Like on Sunday, when all us girls are dressed up all cute. I mean, it's slightly okay now, bc we're all wearing leggings, but honestly you just suck and no one wants you around. Seriously. Go to Iowa or something.

Dear Merrin,

Why, yes, I would lovee to watch Beauty and the Beast with you tonight! I knew you were an awesome roommate!

Dear Tara,

Thankk you for joining us! I know this will help you get better. Disney is healing.

Dear future children,

You are allowed to watch Disney classics, Winnie the Pooh (particularly Pooh's Grand Adventure. I LOVE that movie!), and Arthur. None of that dumb Barney and Care bears (I mean Telly-tubbies. Whatever) business. I remember being a really lil kid and going over to my friend's house and theyy were watching Barney and then even then I distinctly remember thinking "wow, this is dumb." And if a two-year old thinks that Barney is dumb....?? Wellll out of the mouths of babes, people. Take the hint and shut that franchise DOWN.

Dear Selena,

YOU SAID DOLPHIN I KNOW YOU DID (yes, I as a matter of fact am still listening to that song from the previous post. Whatever stop judging me.)

Dear Disney,

I would love to work for you. I was told just last week that I should be a Disney Princess! I mean, yes, I do get this quite often, but it never looses it's shine. It is sooo flattering! I'm glad I so emulate such a wonderful place! But. Should I work in Disney World or Disney Land?? Pros and Cons list and GO!

Disney Land

Pros:

    1. I kinda would love to experience a few months in California. No humidity?! Whhaaattt?? Yes.

    2. Also, I know a missionary in Anaheim! So even though I would prolly never see him, it is nice to know that there is someone around who can help you if something bad happens!

Cons:

    1. Said missionary says that Disney Land looks pretty lame. He even drew a picture and yeah, it does look a lil on the lame side. However (I totes spelled that "hoever" just now. Hahahaaa I wanna start using that.), I am preetty good at making things un-lame. I know I would have fun if I worked there.

    2. But back to the bad stuff! It is on the west coast, so I couldn't see my family.

Disney World

Pros:

    1. EAST COAST! It is Disney World, hellooo?? My ultimate dream

    2. Heather worked there :)

    3. Sam and Emily might come with me?!?!

    4. Chelsea lives in Florida :)

    5. My family could visit me :)
    6. I would get TAN! If Heather can do it, so can I!

Cons:

    1. Honestly can't think of anything, except for it's not in California and again, I kinda want to live there for a few months.
    2. Oh yeah. Humidity.

Hmm. This is far from settled. Let's discuss it later.

Dear nutella,

You are so wonderful.

Dear decisions,

Sometimes, you are really difficult to deal with. I am just saying.

Dear lil guy,

I miss you terribly! Every day.

Dear BYU-I,

I am soo glad I don't have school tomorrow! I don't think you should necessarily be insulted, I juust don't feel like dealing with you. Whatever.

Dear snow!

I am glad you are here :)

Dear Gina,

bestfriend! I am soo sad we are not at the same school and not even on the same coast! Take care of Zachary for me.

Dear cute boy in my math class who likes Brittany,

DO NOT GIVE UP! We are all cheering for you :)

Dear boy who keeps trying to sabotage Brittany and Cute Guy,

STOP IT! We are all mad at you.

PS- You are very attractive. Please be my friend.

Dear word "sabotage,"

Who knew you were spelled like that?

Dear grammar police,

Is it "spelled" or "spelt" for the above sentence?? And is "spelt" even a word? Because the red squiggly lines don't seem to think so.


Dear random guy who was walking by,
I'm sorry I jumped like, five feet in the air when I saw you. It's not like you look like a monster or anything, in fact I'm sure you are very attractive. However, my roommate had just told me that someone was screaming bloody murder outside, so when I was peeking out I was honestly expecting a serial killer. Sorry. I'm glad for both of us that you're not.


Dear new apartment,
I like you. You are pretty and nice and open.


Dear beautiful, clean room,
I am so glad that you are so attractive! Keep this way and we will be friends forever.


Dear 56 mountains I have to climb in order to get to the Ricks and Hinckley,
Level down. I am not kidding. I hate you.


Dear Orville,
Iloveyouuu :) You are my best friend!


Dear Rude,
Umm....actually my Tinker Bell pajama pants are cute, unlike your fake accent. Whhaaattt??

I must comment

Michelle's cousins are visiting, and I love them so I am quite happy. Last night we were driving home one of their friends and Sarah blasted this song....

and I promptly made it number one on Nicole radio. But okay, at 1:17ish doesn't it sound like she says "cool....dolphin"??

Yes.

Also, this song is slightly reminiscent of A*teens, and you know that makes me happy.

I LOVE THIS SONG. I do I do I doo! Perhaps I am a summer girl after all....

Just kidding. Maybe I would be if I didn't look so freaken adorable in knit hats with pom poms on the top. Or if, I dunno, I could get tan?! It is so not fair that I used to be able to get so tan when I was little. It's not like anyone cares when you're five that you look like a bronze goddess. I guess it's okay that the only color my skin turns is pink, red, very red, and lobster.

IT IS NOT OKAY.

And I'm listening to it again (bc I'm listening to it constantly. Whatever.) and she DEFINITELY says "dolphin" there! I knew it.

I think I'm missing Maryland

because I keep wanting to watch the dances from the Step Up series. I always feel like I'm back in Maryland when I watch them, which a little bit is weird bc it's not like I ever saw anything like it all my years there. However, it does take place in Maryland, and you know the dance crew in the second one? The 410? That's an area code in Maryland! Maybe that's why they have it as their name?? More on them later. This is the opening scene in the first movie....

So epic! And this is the final dance....

OMG can Channing Tatum get any hotter?? NO! The answer is no, he cannot.

And now for the 410!

Look how cool they are! However, I am superglad this never happened while I was on the metro, but I think this is Baltimore anyway and not DC.

Anyway. My favorite character in all of the movies is Moose.

Isn't he adorable?? Yes. We are getting married in the Fall. Also I love his part in this one (starting at about 3 minutes in)....

Seriously so awesome.

I love these movies.

Brittany is very sought after

Today I made a friend! Her name is Brittany. She is in my stats class. This is very exciting bc I have always wanted to have a friend named Brittany, but all the Brittanys I have known have been very mean and scary. This Brittany is not any of those things :)

I actually made friends with her on the first day of class, which was a week ago. She invited me to sit next to her, but I declined bc I was saving a seat for my friend. Too late I realized that there were two open seats next to her, and as I gathered my stuff to move, this hunk of human flesh plopped down next to her. I was a lil sad, but mostly happy for her. After all, he looks like this

Anyway.

Every class this kid (who we shall call Cute Wasian) sits next to her. He is adamant about this seating arrangement, but today it was challenged. By a guy who looks like this

Anyway.

So this guy (we'll call him Captain America) is kinda a trouble-maker. He has tried to challenge couples in our class before. There was this so beautiful couple that sat next to each other on the first day and noww they don't sit together and it's all bc THAT GUY sat in-between them last time (at least, Chelsea and I think it was him). So now the cute guy and the pretty girl (who would look like this if they were a couple....

)

don't sit next to each other. He sat behind her. And she glanced back all these times like whyy isn't he sitting next to me?? I know she's sad. It hurts me for her :(

Anyway.

So Cute Wasian always comes in like, right before the class starts. Today Captain America walked in righttt in front of him, and this is where it gets intense.

They look around the room. They spot Brittany. They hurry over, Captain America in the lead. He is literally moments away from slipping into the seat next to her. He looks down and smiles, and I can see the words "can I sit here?" forming on his mouth. I whack Chelsea. This is how we looked, btws.

Anyway.

So he's about to ask and then WHAM! Cute Wasian knocks him out of the way! Not really that extreme- he was really smooth. He didn't even give Captain America time to talk, he just kinda nudged him all innocently like, scoot over, man, I wanna sit in this row too. Captain America and Cute Wasian have a mini stare-off- it is literally a quarter second long. But this is what was said in it....

Captain America: What are you doing, man? Can't you see I'm tryna score here?

Cute Wasian: There is no way. I have this spot re-served.

Nicole and Chelsea: Captain America, haven't you ruined the future of enough couples in this class?! MOVE!

Chelsea: Come sit with me! *flashes her "come hither" look. It does not work. Weirddd*

Captain America: I was here first.

Cute Wasian: I'm not messing around man, move over. Or do I need to whip out my black belt?

That seems to have done it. Captain America plops dejectedly down on the next seat over and Cute Wasian slides into the chair that's next to Brittany, to tumultuous applause from Chelsea and I and I'm sure the rest of the class. This is what we looked like

Hooray for happy endings! And hooray for Brittany, who, as you can tell, is very, very sought after.

Some things never change

And while this is sometimes a bad thing, it is not in this post!

This Friday (written October 17th, 2011) I came home, ate dinner, and frantically ran around grabbing blankets and BenKetty and then I got in the car and went with my parents, brothers, and this lovely lady named Stephanie to the Alonzo Stagg Hike. It is an annual 50 mile hike and I haven't gone in a couple years. The furthest I've gone was 16.7 miles, and that was with Gina in 7th grade. The Alonzo Stagg is a very fun thing if you do it with the right people, even if the elements are not cooperating. Example, one year it was raining like I'm sure it rained in Noah's time. You also will hear rather suspicious splashing sounds. People will tell you its beavers but honestly, I'm 26% certain its the mafia dumping bodies.

This year I was manning a station with my mother. We were freezing and in front of this old, almost definitely haunted house and this canal with an extremely creepy ferry boat. Aren't my Friday nights a blast?? No actually it was really fun, but all that is true. I did nottt appreciate that stupid house. Mom and I chatted and sang and read our Nancy Drew for the Nancy Drew Mystery Story Hour. Ecoli Emishi was currently running the entire hike so she could not stop to sing for us. Too bad.

We got home a little after 7am and I promptly slept till 3ish. I am still tired. Once I was all showered and make-uped Gina came over and we made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for our family for dinner.