Dear Douchebags,

I've had enough of this. You never were good enough for my best friend. How you ever managed to hold her down for all this time is beyond me. How dare you treat her this way. Your nerve and confidence astounds me, given the fact that it has absolutely no base.

But don't worry- she will find someone so, soo much better. And you? Do you really believe that you will find someone better than the wonderful girl you just gave up? Because you won't. You will never manage to find someone who measures up to the incredibly high bar she has set. And you deserve that. Because my best friend is not someone you will find at those dumb parties you go to, or in that stupid middle school-level math course you are taking.

Welcome back to your league, asshole.

The way you have treated her is the most cowardly thing I have ever seen. And how about that timing, huh? Right after a birthday for one and right before Valentine's Day for both. How dare you. I hope, no, I know that karma will catch up to you, and when it does....you are in for the ride of your life.

She was planning a future with you. You were planning it with her. You strung her along and then hung her out to dry, because all the sudden your caveman brain hit a massive hiccup. Can't say I'm surprised. Your over-inflated ego must've been taking up all that prime real estate in your head.

Once you realize your mistake, it'll prolly be too late. My best friend hasn't been going unnoticed. Do you know how many other boys have been waiting for you to mess up?

You're an idiot, but lucky for her, right? Because the biggest mistake of your life- breaking up with my best friend- is the best thing that could've happened to her. I know she doesn't see it now, but she will. It won't take a lot of retrospection to come to that conclusion. Sure, there were good times, but you shouldn't have ended things this way. You cancelled out every good act you ever did in your relationship with the hard, cold way that you smashed up my best friend's heart in the end. Her tears went unseen by you, and her crying unheard because you are a selfish asshole who deserves to be kicked in the balls with all the cleats of every soccer team in the world. You are such a coward.

My best friend deserves so much better than what you gave her, you know that, don't you? But if you are ever so lucky as to get back together with her, just know that I will never, ever forget what you have done. Ever.

You never were good enough for her.