Monday, June 14, 2010


I don't brag a lot. You know how in elementary school they would always say, "no matter what you do, there will always be someone better than you?" Shocked? Don't worry- they also said all those cliche, "you can do anything!" phrases. Yes. Well these two ideas have battled it out in my brain, and I have come to a healthy compromise in my head. And it is this....

I am the best. No one is better than me andddd I can accomplish anything I set my mind to because I am so wonderful.

Just kiddinggg ;) Here is my real compromise;

I may never be the best, but I like it that way.

I came to the first part of this conclusion last year when, for the first time in my life, I was a 2nd flute. Before this, I had never been anything less than 2nd chair, except for a very short time in 6th grade when I played in band for the first time ever. And sophomore year, where I was 4th chair. But whatever. From 3rd quarter in 6th grade-9th grade I was the best. I minded being moved to 4th chair my sophomore year, mostly because the girl who was supposedly my biggest competition was placed ahead of me. By two chairs. And she's kind-of a brat. But I digress. However, I was extremely shocked when I got 6th chair my junior year of high school.

At first I was very upset. I felt like everyone looked at me differently, even though in hindsight a) it was quite an accomplishment for someone who was 4th chair in concert band to move up to 6th chair in Symphonic Band and b)I bet no one really cared. But then I found out that I was the 2nd flute section leader.

Even though this basically meant nothing as to bossing around and sectionals, I did get to play the 2nd flute part during one-on-a-part duets. But then Mr. Dubbs took one of those. Ugh that still pisses me off. Ugh ugh ugh. Soooooo dumb. kwejftki rhgihxae ok I digress I digress I digress. Whew.

Anyway so the first time that I realized I actually needed help with my part was when there was a run that I had absolutely no idea how to play. At all. I looked around at my section and decided to ask Johnny, the nice boy who was 7th chair. He showed me the fingerings and we went on our way.

And that was when it happened. For the rest of the year I relied on Johnny. I don't think I performed a single one-on-a-part duet without him. In fact, I know I didn't. We were a team. A two-in-one. Mr. Dubbs realized this and it got to a point where he didnt even ask. Every solo 2nd flute part was now double played. When I got that duet part taken away from me, Johnny did too. And we had to clean up the stage because we talked entirely too much.

As the year went on I realized how good he was at playing. I realized that he was probably better than me. But I didn't mind. In fact, I loved it. I loved that even if I couldn't play something he would hold up the section until I could. Sometimes he held the section up for a long time. Poor Johnny.

So this is what I'm saying; I like not being relied upon. I like surprising people when I actually do work up to my full potential. I'm not insulted by the shocked look on their faces when I do something utterly fantastic. I am very aware of my "minimum is enough" attitude and its effect on others.

This is a small part of why I don't brag about things. The bigger part is because is because I find those people who boast about every single stupid thing to be very annoying. It is also because what if I'm bragging about my amazing badminton skills and, oh my, the badminton champion of the world just happens to be in the same room as me? And then they challenge me to a game and I am beaten to a pulp in front of everyone because they want to make sure I never feel like I'm good again and also because they are the world champion and I am just a girl from Maryland? Like how embarrassing.

So anyway, that is why I think bragging is dumb. I feel like it's just setting yourself up for a fall. It's like jinxing yourself. Why would you do that? But. I think that writing is an exception to this rule.

With writing, there is no 1-10 scale to grade your amazing-ness. Well, there is in an English classroom, but not in real life. There are so many different styles in which you can write. Each is different and different people like each. Unless it is absolutely the worst thing ever thought of, there will always be someone who likes what you write. So that's perhaps why I've always been drawn to pen and paper. In writing, I can never go wrong.

I love to write and read, and so maybe that's why I am at least a little bit decent at them both. My entire life I have been getting in trouble for staying up too late reading, or running up the library bill because I've checked out too many books for me to handle. I won the writing contest to speak at graduation, and I can read a book really fast?? Haha that sounds so lame. But I can! And who knows when that skill will come in handy.

If you ever come to my house and need to use a bathroom but they are all occupied, chances are you will pee your pants before someone comes out. And no, we do not have digestive problems. It is because we are all bookworms and we keep novels and magazines in the bathrooms, so we get so absorbed in our reading that we forget that there is a world out there full of others with bladders. Why we put that temptation in there is beyond me.

One time, in an effort to lure my family members into more suitable reading areas, I took all the books and newspapers out of the bathrooms and placed them next to comfy chairs and on bookshelves. We were finally about to be normal. Not an hour later, I tried getting into a bathroom, but whoever was in there had holed up for a long time. Finally, forever later, Julie came sheepishly out, trying to hide a book underneath her shirt. Within a week the bathroom had several issues of LDS News, The Friend, five Nancy Drews, Angels and Demons, and so many more. We should just move a bookshelf in already.

So, in conclusion....write! Because you probably are good :) Also, I have no idea where the following list came from, but whatever it's going in here.

I love
the song "I got the magic" by B.O.B.
my new phone
my birds, Chloe and Elle
Gina Han
The Book of Mormon
the policeman who didn't pull me over for speeding extremely much today
the new background of my blog
playing my flute

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