Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My lips don't lie

"My lips never chap."

Those four words sealed my destiny. I was walking along in Target with my friend Heather. We were looking for tights. We found them, and then we ran into a rack full of Burt's Bees chapstick.

"Ugh, that stuff hurts." I exclaimed. "Julie uses it alll the time, and one time my lips were chapped and I used it and my lips stung."

"Hmm really?" Heather asked. "It doesn't hurt me."

I pondered this a moment. "Maybe," I replied thoughtfully. "Maybe it's because you have a tolerance to it because you use it often? My lips never chap."

That very night, THAT VERY NIGHT, my lips chapped horribly. I used Burt's Bees for at least two days before they recovered. As I sat there, wondering what in the world had brought on this strange hormonal imbalance, I realized something. In the last few years, my lips have not chapped a lot. I could prolly count on one hand how many times they've chapped. But every single time ev-er-y siiiiiiiingle one it has been preceded by those four words; My lips ne-vvverrr chap.

It's as if my body wants to make a liar out of me.

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