Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't call me "yo"

There is a certain brand of boy that irritate me above all others. They strut around with their pants to their knees, stupid shirts, music blasting their ears off through their headphones. They will most likely be wearing sunglasses (on the backs of their heads. who comes up with this stuff??), hoods up with a wide-brimmed hat on underneath. They may have some facial hair, but it is trimmed or if it's scruff it is carefully maintained and their hair may be in a faux-hawk. They have probably at some point worked as a salesman, and as such have an excess of confidence as well as an excess in cologne. They bathe in it. Twice daily.

You walk past a guy like this, innocently trying to get to class or the store, you may even be going somewhere with the kid you nanny for, who everyone thinks is your kid. Wherever you are going or whoever you are with, you will know that one such boy is around because at any moment you will hear this....


Yo? Don't yo at me. My name is not "yo," and for that matter neither is "ayy" or "girrrll." You turn your head, because such is your natural impulse when you believe someone is talking to you. You immediately wish you hadn't, because you now have to deal with this toolbag. At this point they will probably nod and flash you a sleazy smile.

"What up girl?"

Congratulations for having successfully identified me as a female. What do you want- a round of applause? You roll your eyes and turn away, attempting to complete the task you set out to do.

"Dang. That was cold."

You are instantly reminded of a caveman. Girl. Rock. Meat. Me....their vocabulary is astounding. You'd be surprised at just how many guys can communicate with only one-syllable words. As you hurry off, you hear them call after you, and narrowly avoid introducing them to a particular finger. The little kid you nanny for should not grow up thinking that is okay.

I do not understand where these guys get their confidence from. Doesn't being shut down so many times by so many people wear on a guy's ego? Honestly sometimes I just get exasperated with this kind of boys, because they just seem so unintelligent. No, I did not accidentally look away from you or walk in the opposite direction. It was very much intentional. I am not interested. Is there anything about me that would indicate that I am interested? No? So whyyy are you talking to me?

It isn't even flattering. It's annoying, and actually kind of insulting that you think I have nothing better to do than talk to random creepers. Why don't you go do something good for society, instead of staring rudely at every passing thing that slightly resembles a female?

Buuuut unfortunately, some of these sleazebags never grow out of this. There are creepers everywhere, of every different shape, size, ethnicity, age, marital status....everywhere.

When I was out at school I missed MD, but I certainly did not miss being called, "yo."

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