Nineteen

I am in this weird spot in my life. I'm 19, so technically I am an adult. I'm 19, so technically I am a teenager. What am I supposed to do with all this? I will tell you what I am doing.

I have a piggy bank. Because I am a teenager I picked out the cutest one and named him Orville. Because I am an adult, I love feeding him.

I want to read an encyclopedia. Because I am a teenager, I realize this is nerdy. Because I am an adult, I don't care.

I text. Because I am a teenager, it is an oft repeated ritual. Because I am an adult, I use correct grammar and don't shorten my words (example: R U there? NO!).

I am suddenly a neat freak. Because I am a teenager, my first year at college was messy to say the least. Because I am an adult, I appreciate a clean room and organization on a whole new level.

Politics are coming onto my radar. Because I am a teenager, politics seem distant and it is okay if I don't understand everything about them. Because I am an adult (and living in DC helps too), politics seem very close and understanding them is something I am working very hard on.

I run around in sweatpants. Because I am a teenager, I can be sloppy. Because I am an adult, I go to college and can walk around looking like a college kid. But also because I am an adult, I don't wear them nearly as much as I used to.

Sometimes, I make really unwise choices. Because I am a teenager, I am allowing myself to make mistakes. Because I am an adult, I am not allowing myself to make them again and make it a point to learn from my mistakes.

I go to college. Because I am a teenager, I have to take a lot of foundations classes and sometimes skip class. Because I am an adult, I love my major and am eager to learn so I try to avoid skipping.

I am experiencing very active tear ducts. Because I am a teenager, this is expected.  I will add that, because I am my mother's daughter, this is permissible. But, because I am an adult, I try very hard to control my ridiculous eyes.

I go to church. Because I am a teenager, I fuss a little over my outfit. Because I am an adult, I appreciate what is said and the spirit that is there much more.

I live in Idaho almost eight months of the year. Because I am a teenager and a Maryland girl, this can get rather boring sometimes and I miss my family and friends a lot. Because I am an adult, I see it as an opportunity to grow up.

I shop. Because I am a teenager, a lot of my purchases are clothes and food. Because I am an adult, I spend a lot less and save for important things like college and Russia.

I read magazines. Because I am a teenager, sometimes I go to people.com. Because I am an adult and a polisci major to boot, I read The Economist cover to cover every week.

I cook. Because I am a teenager the list of things I can make and make well is very short, and I often call my mom to ask her how many cups 16 oz makes. Because I am an adult, I am trying to lengthen that list and sometimes I look cooking terms up on the internet.

I surf the web. Because I am a teenager, I go onto facebook, youtube, gojane.com, and watch TV. Because I am an adult, I go to news sites and read about the world. I also look up airplane ticket costs and read blogs.

This new place in my life where I have feet in both camps is kind of wearing on me. Sometimes I am treated like an adult, and sometimes like a teenager. For instance, my little car is broken, so if I ever need to get somewhere my parents or friends have to drive me. Teenager. In church, I work in the Primary. Adult. I have a full-time job. Adult. It is a nannying position. Teenager.

See??? Nineteen is just a weird place to be, but also a nice place. It is when you're at the end of being a kid, and the beginning of being an adult. It is a good time for reflection. I like being 19.