Sunday, July 8, 2012


You can be very naive. And think that "getting a fake" is getting a fake tan, or that a hanger party is a party wherein girls walk around with hangers and wait for boys to come tie a ribbon or something around their hanger. And then they dance all old-fashioned-like! And no one ever gets hurt by the hangers.

Sometimes your Understanding DNA teacher is absent. Right before a test. That he only told you about last Friday and it's Monday. And you had a test last Wednesday for that class. And he didn't even teach you half of what is supposed to be on the test. And you just know that in his head that is okay, and he's like "good luck, suckers! No one will ever pass my class, ever! Bwahahaaaa!"

Sometimes things like that make you upset bc you really care about and love this class, and your fuh-reaken hours of studying should be rewarded somehow.

Sometimes you never ever sleep at your house on Friday nights, and you can't even remember the last time you did so. And it's not even a big deal, even though you sometimes don't see any of your roommates for two days straight.

Sometimes, you see dysfunctional relationships and you honestly have no idea what to do except talk about it. Because even though you're not a gossipy B, you just don't know how to handle it and you need advices.

Sometimes, it's none of your business, and you need to accept that and let people make their own mistakes.

But sometimes that is really hard to do.

Sometimes, your roommate gets a boyfriend and you don't even know quite how you manage it but sommeeehow there is never a normal moment when you are around the two of them. In fact, by now you most definitely know much more about him and how his brain works and his life and knowledge of all things sexual and you honestly have no idea how it came to all of this.

And sometimes he's like, "don't be gross! I didn't mean that." And then does into a very detailed description of what that is, and you're like, "oh my gosh be QUIET. I have noo desire to speak of this with you I just wanted my water bottle!" But he just keeps going and it becomes very apparent to you that not everyone is good at picking up what you are, so extraordinarily clearly, putting down.

Sometimes, a convict escapes from work detail in St Anthony and everybody freaks out, except your roommate who says he will never come here.

Sometimes you discuss with your other roommate and you both agree that he would indeed come here, bc that is what Tweener did in Prison Break.

Sometimes no one else watches Prison Break so they don't believe you and try to tell you its unrealistic.

Sometimes, you are going home in a little over two weeks and you just don't believe it, but you start packing anyway.

Sometimes the girls in your complex and the complex next to yours go to bed super-early and it's weird and you feel afeared when you're the only one up at 1 in the morning.

Sometimes, your best friend is in Africa, and you're so happy for her but you miss her so much.

Because sometimes, even when you are separated by two thousand miles, it doesn't seem like it is that far bc you still talk sometimes. But now that she is much farther away, and you never talk, sometimes you really feel that distance. And sometimes that makes you realize how much you relied on and needed her.

And sometimes that realization makes you a very sad girl, and you hate all these sad understandings you've been getting lately.

Sometimes, you actually go to your own ward for once and you quickly figure out exactly how toolish your FHE sons are, and it is disappointing as well as annoying as shiiii bc they think they are sooo cool and they are just not. Not at all.

And sometimes, it makes you never want to go to FHE. And you don't want to fix it with them bc what's the point? Tools gonna tool- and not just sometimes. They don't think they're doing anything wrong, and you don't have the time and you certainly don't have the patience to explain to them the multitude of things they've got backwards.

And sometimes you aren't even interested in seeing them ever again, because sometimes they disgust you that much.

Sometimes you think about how ironic it is that the most toolish boys you know are LDS, and some of the nicest are the ones your dad would be most upset to see you bring home.

Sometimes, you haven't written your missionaries in awhile, and you feel horrible, and you miss them a lot more than you ever thought you would. And sometimes that makes you sad.

And sometimes, all of this happens at once, and you just get so sick of it and want more than anything to go home.

That's how I feel sometimes.

1 comment:

  1. I am crying. This is so beautiful and makes me want to do everything I can for you.