Remembering

I have all these goals, and I guess I just forget them until something forces me to remember them. Today I was sitting in the BYU-I Center (fondly known as the BUICK) and I heard the most beautiful music. Ever! It was soo pretty and it reminded me of something, and that something is this-

Listen to it all. It is the most wonderful thing in the world.

I heard it first when I went to Disney World when I was in 5th grade, so a long time ago. We bought the CD and I fell in love. I had the whole thing memorized in a manner of days thanks to my obnoxious habit of listening to one song over and over again. Hmm.

Ever since then I have wanted with all my heart to play in a good band/orchestra. In high school I like to think we were pretty cool, and all the judges from the competitions agreed, but I don't want to just play in a band. I want to play a song that will inspire people! I want to play a song that is not all just runs for the flutes, but has all these exciting rhythms and changes of time and pace and keys and CRESCENDOS. Guys, I want to play this song.

I am not an awesome flute player, but I am really dedicated, and I guarantee that if I was given the opportunity to play in an orchestra that was playing this song I would drop everything else and practice for hours and hours till I got it right. I have no problem spending my time on something like this. I get very one-track-minded when it comes to things that I very much want.

It's music like this that just gets me so pumped. It reminds me of all the good I want to do and helps me to see the glass half full. Or whatever the optimist side of that is.

It reminds me of all my goals, like living in Africa. Or becoming a phlebotomist. Or learning Farsi. Or becoming an X-ray technician! Or working at the very place that made all of this happen- Disney World.

My GOSH I love that place.

"Oh thanks....every morning I feel like a cheap prostitute leaving a Motel 6."

So this past weekend I went and visited my two older sisters Kelly and Heather, in Provo, and it was SO. MUCH. FUN. I love my sisters more than anything in the world. Gina counts. This is us when I visited the first time....

Clearly my face is not Heather's top priority. Whatevs.

Anddd some of all my sisters at our pink photoshoot....

Jes, we areee dysfunctional to the highest degree.

Ahhh....Julie in her awkward stage. She is so cute :) But don't worry- she's the prettiest of us all now.

Sometimes I just want to tell her to shut up. Shut up, Julie!

Okay anyway. So there is something that happened to me while I was in Utah, and it is something that I am not necessarily proud of. Yes, that's right. I NCMO-ed. Here is Heather's version of the story....

4. Three-year-old fans. Cosmo the Cougar is probably the same hotness as the volleyball team. Nicole was overcome when she saw him. She screamed about how she needed a picture with him and ran over, smile and camera ready. The people gathered around Cosmo saw her coming - at least, the lucky ones did. They saw the passion in her eyes. They knew they needed to evacuate. I didn't get a picture, but one of them looked kind of like this little girl:

She was one of the lucky ones. The rest were pushed unceremoniously out of the way as Nicole elbowed her way to Cosmo as if it was Black Friday and he was a $129.99 flat-screen TV. Cosmo turned to Nicole. It was a magical moment when their eyes met. Cosmo dropped to the ground and said:

"Hey."

Nicole couldn't respond. Cosmo stood up and gave her a hug. I got the camera ready and looked up just in time to see Cosmo kissing my sister. Verrrrry passionately. !!!!! Welcome to Utah, Nicole :)

So there you have it. Who'da thunk my first NCMO would be with someone famous and in so public a place?

Oh PS- the title is something Heather said as we were leaving her apartment one day. She has the prettiest view and I commented on it and she was like, "Oh thanks. Every morning I feel like a cheap prostitute leaving a Motel 6." Whelp.

Dear couples at BYU-I, Part II

I mean, I guess it's okay for you to come into the Hinckley Chapel, look around for a pew next to an outlet, see that they are all taken, and then, after some whispered debate, choose the pew that is right in front of me and then sit there making out and whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.

Dear inconsiderate,
IT IS NOT OKAY! There is a whole pew and you decide to sit riiiighhhtt in front of me?! I tried my very hardest to block out every word that I could, but let's be honest, I am mayyybe two feet away.

Dear Tom and Tara,
I knoww that you guys would NEVER do such a thing.

Dear new favorite songs,
I have listened to you basically constantly for the last 12ish hours.

I can even sing it! The high part. Merrin and I tried today and I was so stinkin proud of myself!

and

Dear Despicable Me 2 and The Lorax,
I am sooo excited to see you!

Dear Awkward,
Yeahhh....I am so sorry :( I didn't want that to happen.

Dear weather,
Let's keep this no-wind thing up! Tomorrow is devo and I knoww that that is the day when you are at your worst, but there is no time like the present to change!
PS- If you want to snow, that would be okay, just don't wind, please.

Dear Facebook,
I just can't handle using you right now. I'm taking a break. Prolly until Friday.

Dear self esteem,
You have so many dips and height blasts. Its been a weird week?

Dear NIH,
Pleaseee get back to me!

Dear Spring Semester 2012,
If I am here for you, it's going to be a clean-up semester. Let's fix that GPA, yeah?

Dear Gina,
I am sooo proud of our communication skills this week! Let''s skype again soon :) And I am so glad you follow my blog!

Dear BYU-I,
Hehe, I'm wearing ripped jeans today. BAD-A MONDAY, PEOPLE!

Dear Chels,
I see what you mean. That is why I am hiding out in the Hinckley chapel right now.
PS- I am reaallly excited for Teriyaki Express tonight!

Sipping Jetstreams

Sometimes travelling can be intimidating. Should I or shouldn't I? Where shall I go? Will I be safe? How do I make sure I come back with everything I left with and everything I've picked up in my travels? Do I havee to wear a money-belt? What if I don't know the language? What if I get lost? How can I reassure my family that I will be alright? How do I reassure myself?

I'm definitely not the impulsive type, I have found. I like to think things through and be prepared and load up my brain with directions and explore the what-ifs before I so much as go to the grocery store.

Perhaps travel isn't ideal for my type of personality, but I very much feel the need to travel. I really want to go live in a foreign land for like, 4-6 months. I am extremely worried that I will get married and then be all newly-wedded-ly poor and not be able to travel. And then when we have some financial stability, we'll have children and then I would miss my chance to travel, because then I would be uprooting a family, not just myself.

The clock is ticking! If I want to do something, I need to do it now. I only have a few years left to be adventurous and just pick up and leave whenever I want.

I am a firm believer in taking advantage of the college-only programs that are out there. I want to be able to experience all that those programs have to offer before I finish my education. Does this mean that my education will be delayed? Maybe on paper, but I truly believe in learning through experience. I learned so much more as a summer intern at NIH than I ever have learned in any science class. Nothing else has even come close. I want to have another job like that- one that will affect my life and steer me in the direction I need to go.

And that is why I need to travel. A lot of my future plans involve helping people in other countries, and I need to know if I can handle that. I want to go to Africa. I need to go to Africa. I kind-of forgot that for a bit, but now it's back and I am just so out the wazoo excited. I need to stop looking for reasons to not go and just go. I will not regret going, that much I know. But I will, forever, regret passing this opportunity up.

But turning in applications fills me with such a heavy feeling. That's always the hardest part for me- the decision. After that I stick with it and I am fine. So I am making a decision right now. 

Sometime within the next two years I will be out of this country.

I will be going somewhere and I will be happy about it. I will learn and possibly get a tan and be very, very happy. My eyes will be opened to the world. I will understand other countries and their cultures and reasons much better. It will be one of the best experiences of my life.

But the best part is, maybe it won't be. Maybe my life will be so good that this experience will just be like another day for me. Maybe I will actually accomplish my goals. Maybe I willll get to have my cake and eat it too. Maybe I will be able to work in the government and also administer medicine in Africa anddd be a Game Warden in Kenya. Maybe, who knows? Maybe I actually cann have it all.

Wouldn't that be something :)