Sometimes travelling can be intimidating. Should I or shouldn't I? Where shall I go? Will I be safe? How do I make sure I come back with everything I left with and everything I've picked up in my travels? Do I havee to wear a money-belt? What if I don't know the language? What if I get lost? How can I reassure my family that I will be alright? How do I reassure myself?
I'm definitely not the impulsive type, I have found. I like to think things through and be prepared and load up my brain with directions and explore the what-ifs before I so much as go to the grocery store.
Perhaps travel isn't ideal for my type of personality, but I very much feel the need to travel. I really want to go live in a foreign land for like, 4-6 months. I am extremely worried that I will get married and then be all newly-wedded-ly poor and not be able to travel. And then when we have some financial stability, we'll have children and then I would miss my chance to travel, because then I would be uprooting a family, not just myself.
The clock is ticking! If I want to do something, I need to do it now. I only have a few years left to be adventurous and just pick up and leave whenever I want.
I am a firm believer in taking advantage of the college-only programs that are out there. I want to be able to experience all that those programs have to offer before I finish my education. Does this mean that my education will be delayed? Maybe on paper, but I truly believe in learning through experience. I learned so much more as a summer intern at NIH than I ever have learned in any science class. Nothing else has even come close. I want to have another job like that- one that will affect my life and steer me in the direction I need to go.
And that is why I need to travel. A lot of my future plans involve helping people in other countries, and I need to know if I can handle that. I want to go to Africa. I need to go to Africa. I kind-of forgot that for a bit, but now it's back and I am just so out the wazoo excited. I need to stop looking for reasons to not go and just go. I will not regret going, that much I know. But I will, forever, regret passing this opportunity up.
But turning in applications fills me with such a heavy feeling. That's always the hardest part for me- the decision. After that I stick with it and I am fine. So I am making a decision right now.
Sometime within the next two years I will be out of this country.
I will be going somewhere and I will be happy about it. I will learn and possibly get a tan and be very, very happy. My eyes will be opened to the world. I will understand other countries and their cultures and reasons much better. It will be one of the best experiences of my life.
But the best part is, maybe it won't be. Maybe my life will be so good that this experience will just be like another day for me. Maybe I will actually accomplish my goals. Maybe I willll get to have my cake and eat it too. Maybe I will be able to work in the government and also administer medicine in Africa anddd be a Game Warden in Kenya. Maybe, who knows? Maybe I actually cann have it all.
Wouldn't that be something :)