Eighteen, Clueless, and Baby-Hungry

So. I go to school at BYU-I, frequently called BYU-I DO.

Ha.

Ha.

So I'm a normal Mormon girl in that I lovee Singles Ward and The R.M. and Sons of Provo and all those other hilarious Mormon movies, and in Singles Ward there's this scene where they're all at family night at the Bishop's house, and at the end this guy stands up and he's like,

"Let me reiterate what Brigham Young said: if you're 25 years old and unmarried, you're a menace to society. Just something for everybody to ponder."

I have always thought that that was so funny. I would laugh and shake my head and be like, "Ohh those crazy Utah Mormons." Growing up in Maryland (which is anything but Utah) I never thought I would hear something like this when I got to college. Ever.

....I have been proven wrong twice in the past two weeks.

Two Sundays ago I was sitting in Sacrament Meeting. Mine starts at 9:30, so I'm obviously asleep and not prepared to deal with any craziness. We had the High Counsel speaker there and he got up to talk and somehow he ended up going off on this tangent on dating. He told us, on no uncertain terms, that we had better be dating, and a lot. He told the boys to be gentlemen and the girls to let them. Everyone was avoiding eye contact and looking studiously at their hair or nails. It was awkward. I felt like if I made eye contact with anyone I would have to marry them. It was a real intense talk.

After that I felt like I had reached my awkward church talk quota for at least the next year, but it was not to be. This Sunday I wanted to sleep in, so I ended up going to Michelle's ward which starts at 1pm. They have RelSoc first, then Sunday School and then Sacrament Meeting. So today was this special day in their ward because they were getting a new bishopric, and the old bishopric had the opportunity to give parting words of wisdom.

The old Bishop's talk started out innocently enough. He talked about our reaction to the little kids who were in attendance that day (the families of the departing and arriving bishoprics). He was like, "You all were adoring those children when they came in. They make this meeting Celestial." And we were all nodding like oh yes they are wonderful how great, totally unprepared for the next word that was to echo through the chapel. He paused, looked at us piercingly, and said,

"Procreation."

My head jerked up. Excuse me- What?

"Procreation." He repeated, his tone unapologetic and devastatingly firm. I glanced uneasily at Michelle. What the crap ward was this? As he opened his mouth again I knew there was no getting out of it, we were going to have this talk.

He went on to say how special it is, and how beautiful, and all those other words that you absolutely do not want to hear coming out of your bishop's mouth in association with "procreation." My mind was made up. I was never going to Michelle's ward again.


He asked us where we wanted to be in three years? Do we want to be in a Singles Ward?

"NO."

The word thundered through the chapel as he glared down at us, daring anyone to disagree. We shifted uncomfortably in our seats.

"Where do you want to be in three years?" He demanded again. I wanted to get up and be like, "Bishop, I want to be procreating in three years." But I didn't.

Ok guys, here's what's up; I don't want to be married in three years. The soonest I want to be married is four years, when I am 22. But really, I wanna be 26 when I get married, so that gives me 8 years, 8 years that I have firm plans for. In those eight years I am going to finish college, teach English to kids in Russia (Jan-June of 2013!!) with Julie, work at Disney World, work at a bank (maybe), work in DC, be mentors for the ILP Program with Julie, go on a roadtrip with Gina (I don't know where we'll go, it just sounds like fun), adopt a sweet lil puppy, be a Game Warden in Kenya, and just play play play! Oh, and date Prince Harry. So.

I know this sounds kinda dumb to some people, but I don't want to be married when I do these things, except for the puppy one. And Kenya of course, but not at first. I will have eternity with my husband- he can wait eight years.

My first semester at BYU-I my roommate informed us that she wanted to be married, and now. She was a second semester freshman, and 18 years old. Did she care that she was in high school less than a year ago? No. Did it bother her that she had just barely obtained her license and right to vote? Not a bit. Was she okay with being a stereotype? Ohhh yes. She wanted marriage and children right here right now. So line up prospective spouses.


I will be the first to admit that I am wayyy too immature to even think about getting married right now. I'm still such a kid. I need to grow up a lot first. So to those girls who want to be married yesterday, well have at it. Ennnjoy.

Now please take a moment to watch this hilarious ridiculousness which inspired this post's title....

Dear Future Husband

Sometimes, I'll see something really cute or I'll get an idea of what I want my future house to look like or whatever and I'll be like, "I can't forget this. I'll text my future husband about it!" So I'll confidently get out my phone and open a new text message and....ohh....I don't know who my future husband is. Oh. Oh my....

And I'll put away my phone all ashamedly.


So here's what's up. I'ma tell my future honey-smoochie-pie stuff here! Alright.


Darling handsome hunk of a man,

I think you're great. You most likely have dark, curly hair and kind brown eyes. That is my type I think. You also like to have dance parties with me!


All the boys I know that I've grown up with are getting their mission calls. Sam is going to California- near Disneyland! Sean is going to Salt Lake City, Matthew is going to Madagascar, where he will most likely become friends with several talking lemurs. I'm just saying. Philip is in the Brazil Manaus mission, and Steve is in Texas. I wonder if you're on your mission right now, and if so where are you? Do you like it? You must be a good missionary, because I wouldn't marry any less. But just remember whenever you feel sad or discouraged, your lovely future wife is praying for you.


And if you are still too young to be on your mission, I'm sure you're working hard at your studies or job. You'd better be.


I hope you like Julian Smith, but I'm sure you do. It's kinda a pre-requisite for being my honeybun. I'm listening to "I'm reading a book."


My best friends are named Gina and Julia and my sisters. You'll like them- they are great.


I really love my international politics class and I really, really want to be Brother Adamson's TA someday, hopefully next year.


I hope you understand that we prolly won't meet for some time now. I will not get married until I am 22, and if I don't get married/engaged then, then it'll be 26. In the meantime I have many important things to do....


I am going to go to Africa and take care of lions and tigers and giraffes and elephants and wildebeests and such. I am going to go to Russia with the ILP program with Julie (who will also be the maid of honor at our wedding. Dude! you need to have a smokin' best man so they can look flirtatiously at each other and we can feel like match makers!) and then we will do it again except this time get paid and we will go to China. Most likely. It's Julie's call 'cause I got to pick Russia. She really wanted to go to the Ukraine, but I would rather eat a live snail. But France isn't an option OHHH! :) But did you know that in Ukraine they have Women's day wherein all the women get the day off and they get flowers and chocolate?? That alllmost convinces me, but it's just not enough see. I am also going to work at Disney World, hopefully at the Bibbity Bobbity Boo Boutique, but how awesome would it be to be a princess?!?! Maybe that'll be how we meet- like we work there and you're a prince and I'm a princess?? Howww romantic of us <3


So see, you can't come around for awhile yet. I'm sorry. I just have much too much to do. And I don't think you'll want to go to Africa with me. And I just have to go. I really, really need to.


I am also in love with Jimmer, but I don't think that'll be a problem because you prolly ARE Jimmer! Sikee prolly not. But umm yeah it won't be a problem because you prolly have a man-crush on him. I mean who doesn't? I accept you.


Well. I hafta do my math homework and get my laundry and then get pretty and go to class. Geez I work so hard. Haha jk. But I do feel super productive bc of the laundry. I loveeee youu! *mwah!* You are soooo wonderful!


Love,
Your future wife

English 12 AP Evaluation I just found :)

Reflection: My Favorite Memory from class is…

~ When that guy came in and called Dan "dreamy hair guy"

~ When Miss. Curtin said, "to whom am I speaking?" imitating her mother. funniest story EVER

~ When Soriayah was the delivery boy in Streetcar and Sarah hit on her

~ I loved that Miss Curtin loved our singing. We had, what? Like, eight madrigal singers in period 5? And most of the voice parts covered. It was so much fun when we would sing in order to leave class early for madrigals or just because. This class is the definition of a buttload of work, and having that intermission, however brief, seriously kept me sane. It was touching how encouraging she was of our extra-curriculars, even when we sounded truly heinous (hello, "Africa" the first time? *shiver*).

Made-up Prompt: Favorite project....

The research of Afghanistan and the Taliban. It was very eye-opening and I love history :)

Made-up Prompt #2: What kept you going?

My purple marker. Writing with it seriously helped me survive.

Made-up Prompt #3: AP Test??

Def. prepared. We did wayyy too many practice tests in this class to not be. This class seriously makes it easy.

Words of Priceless Wisdom: My advice to students beginning this course

Make lists of the things you need to do and check them off as you go with pretty colors!

An Essay a Day Keeps the Doctor Away: Explain how to maintain an healthy lifestyle while writing many essays

To be honest I have no idea how to do this. You could pull a Chelsea and drink a million red bulls a day. Or stay up all night. I guarantee you unless you are Gina Han, all-nighters are in your future. If I was Gina, I guess I would tell you to do a little here and there, and then bring it all together. Although, 1st and some of 2nd quarter you are pretty much doing an essay a day, so just work on it as sporadically as you can. If you're an aide, start then.

Also, schedule. Don't take a nap when you get home because you are so tired from your all-nighter the night before (which undoubtably was because you were writing an essay). You gotta be stronger than that! If you must must musttt take a nap, make sure there is someone well-rested near-by who will wake up no later than a half hour later (naps like that are supposedly healthy for you). Listen to invigorating music as you type type type, and take dance breaks so you get endorphins! And remember that you are not in this alone. All you need to do to realize that is sign onto facebook, because there will probably be 30 or so other English 12 APers there along with you. But don't stay there unless you have to. It's too tempting.

Also, eat smart foods, like blueberries and bananas. You will be a genius if you do.

A Letter from the Heart

So as you know, Ketty and I were band-aides (aides for Band class) for Concert Band last year, and I lovedd that experience. Kinda. Here's a letter we wrote to the class after we graduated....

Dear 2^nd period band class,

      Hi! It’s your favorite aides, Nicole and Ketty! J As bad as it sounds, we never thought we would miss any of our classes; however, we definitely miss you guys. So, we’re gonna take you inside our heads for a moment.

From Ketty…

             My initial reaction of becoming a second period aide was that I wouldn’t really talk to the class. I only thought of Chelsea because she was my only friend in the class besides Nicole. Boy, has that changed. I really appreciate getting to know you all and for actually figuring out everyone’s names, although it took me a while. Haha. I remember getting nervous when I had to make announcements once in a blue moon because I thought all of you would laugh at me, but you definitely proved me wrong. Everybody was so nice and even though you were sometimes pretty obnoxious, I think that’s what makes me remember you even more. J I know that things were not always joyful in some of the sections, but I write this letter hoping that you all will end this year on good terms, having learned to forgive each other. I know I was lacking in many ways, which is why I feel like Mr. Dubbs always had us do simple things like wash the board and organize his desk, but I hope that even these small tasks brought some break from the monotony of rehearsal as you watched our butts in your faces. I wish you all good luck on your finals, whatever they may be and I want to tell you to never give up in anything (unless it’s a bad thing)~ Thank you for always saying hi and welcoming me each day. It was a joy for me to even have the chance to work with some flutes during sectionals in the music office ;). I had a great time being your aide and hopefully, it wasn’t too hard for you all to see me as well. Know that you guys are awesome and that each and every one of you has talent in music.~

From Nicole…

Hi guys! When I first found out that I was going to be an aide for Concert Band, I definitely had mixed feelings. I remember loving Concert Band, but all the people that I had known in it were either graduated or in Symphonic Band now, like Ketty! I was so relieved to have her as my partner in crime J I worried that you guys would think we were weird and geeky, cause who aides for band anyway? We must’ve seemed like real nerds to you. But I was wrong about your guys’ reaction to us. I expected the attitudes typical of high schoolers, but everyone was so nice. I remember sitting there the first day of school with Ketty and someone from the flute section came up to us and was like, “are you guys seniors?” “Yep.” “That is so cool.” And that’s what made me love you guys. From that day forward I had a special place in my heart for 2^nd period. I know that you all probably think I didn’t pay attention, because I was always in the media center writing papers, or doing WHAP homework, crimping my hair, coloring, or anything irrelevant to band (word to the wise, don’t be like me. unless you can manage to get away with it. Which you can’t.). But I was listening, and I must tell you that you are seriously one of the strongest Concert Bands that I have ever heard. It was amazing when you would fix intonation problems by yourselves or when I would hear really good sectionals. You have truly raised the bar. I genuinely loved aiding for you. From my minimal responsibilities of constantly washing that stupid board, to organizing the desk, to taking attendance (that was Ketty, I delivered it, though!), to assigning instruments, I grew to appreciate every single one of you. Especially that adorable clarinet section, who always complimented my hair. I love you girls! I hope that you all continue to grow in your musical abilities, because you are really good, and I’m really not just saying that. Thanks again for being such a low maintenance class, like how you hardly ever asked me for things. It’s like you knew I couldn’t really help you J. Anyway. Like Ketty said, good luck! And stay in band. You’ll miss it if you don’t. We do.

Love,

Nicole and Ketty

CONFIDENTIAL

To Mr. Dubbs.

             Mr. Dubbs, this is the weirdest thing, but the other day, I did the flip-flop and the block drill and space invaders in an elementary school parking lot O.O! This is Nicole, by the way. And you know how much of a joy I was on the field. I never thought I would miss marching band, but I do and it’s soooo weird. Ketty and I want to thank you for being a wonderful director to us for the last four years. It is truly amazing what you do and we feel that you have a gift for connecting students to music. Under your guidance, hopefully you feel, as we do, that we have grown musically. We miss being in band already because, although it was very stressful and stretched our limits, just having the relationships with our friends made it not only endurable, but rewarding.

Remember when I left my piccolo at the school? This is Ketty, bytheway. That was crazy! I thought you were going to kill me, and that is no exaggeration. I literally ran from parent to parent, trying to avoid facing you and keeping myself updated on the possibility of getting another one without you ever having to find out I even thought of forgetting my piccolo. I.was.completely.wrong because in the end, you always find out.

From Nicole: I just wanna say, thanks for keeping me around, even when I’m sure you wanted more than anything else in the world to conveniently throw me under one of our competition buses and just be done with me. There were times when I am sure I tested your temper, and I’m very grateful that you still remember me fondly? And just think, you will be so prepared for when Emily is a teenager, because her worst days will probably be around my best. Haha. I have one last request. And that is that you give my brothers the same opportunity that you gave me, to be in marching band. Once they get to that level of course. But I know they can do it, andddd they won’t complain like I did.

From both: Hmm…band is different. If someone were to ask us, “Why did you let yourself deal with being in band when it was so hard?”, both of our answers would be the same. “We like the fact that every individual is valued because like Mr. Dubbs says, ‘There’s no second string’. The importance of teamwork was emphasized in everything that we did, and while we complained and grumbled, ultimately, we produced something much more than just music. The relationships we cultivated over the last four years brought us to our true friends and our true selves.” So, yeah, this is a pretty long answer, but it has everything that we would want a random person to know.

Thank you for always believing in us, even when it seemed almost inevitable that we would let you down. But it was touching to see you impressed because it was our very best, not because it was the very best. We’ll remember this experience in high school very fondly and don’t worry, our kids will play instruments too, hopefully. It has been an honor and a privilege to play in your band. So one last time, thank you. Best wishes to Sarah and Emily!!~~

DON’T’ FORGET US, MR. DUBBS! J

Sincerely,

Nicole and Ketty

Hide your kids, hide your wife....

Anyone in the world can finish that sentence. Unless you've been living under a rock.

I want my kids to be able to see this treasure. I hope they will think it is as funny as I and everyone in the world does :) If not, they are so dumb, they are really dumb, fo real!

Home boy, home HOME ho-ome boy!

BYU-I hates coca-cola

Today I woke up bright and early. Well, not bright, but certainly early. It was not bright because the sun was not out yet. It would not be up for some time. Because it was 4:14 in the morning.


Why? I thought to myself. Why are you awake this early? My brain did not answer, but my stomach did. This is what is said....


I HATE YOU NICOLE I WANT TO MAKE YOU SO MISERABLE SO I AM GOING TO HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.


I stumbled out of bed, shivering, and blindly ransacked my drawers for my faithful friend, pepto-bismal.


OH SO YOU THINK MEDICINE WILL HELP? HAHAHAHAHAAAAA. you are so naive.


I called my parents, whimpering pathetically as I asked how to properly take pepto. Then I squeezed out a "happy birthday" to my nicest Daddy and hung up.


I expected pepto to cure me, but it did not. Instead it did nothing. It sat there, blinking at me (metaphorically) lazily not doing its job. I was sad. I could not fall asleep, so I stayed up doing homework. Occasionally I would have moments of relief, but they were few and far between. Mostly I was sitting in uncomfortable positions, angrily staring at my psychology book or the computer screen. A couple times I really thought I was going to throw up, and I was sooo happy. Throwing up is a gross experience, but I would rather a moment of pain so I could get my sad lil butt back to bed. Well, I did throw up. Pepto-bismal. My body had apparently fired it. Hmph.


Finally I felt like I could brave my bed. And may I mention that I am SO COLD?! And it's 34* today! For those of you who are unaware of my new life as an Inuit, I am now very hardened to the cold. Today is kinda a nice day. Much better than the negatives Rexburg so kindly dips down into so often. It's almost like Spring I tell you. Anyway. So I piled on almost all my blankets last night AND turned on my mattress heater and I am STILL freezing. I am sad :(


So after that I kept waking up every 15/20 minutes or so just to lay there in agony as my stupid stomach punched me in the face repeatedly (metaphorically).


So my parents called me later all concerned and cute and I love them and I chatted with them for awhile and they told me to drink coca-cola. May I just say, they should re-label coca-cola SWEETENED TAR. That is precisely what it is. I honestly do not understand what everyone sees in this so disgusting beverage. It is like that person that you really don't like because they are stupid idiots but everyone else loves them, and you just cannot wrap your head around it. Coke is disgusting, and apparently I am not the only one who feels this way. After my math class I went to the MC to get some. I looked and looked and looked, and did I find any? NO. Because BYU-I hates coca-cola.


They really do. Not a one in sight. I am very angry about this. All I want is a freaking coke. So I got a root beer, but apparently they make things worse. So I just went and got a 7-UP with Caylin, because she and Brittany love me and came and visited and wished me well. They are so nice :)


And whyyy am I sick?? I ate bad shrimp. Because my roommate's rat-friend was over and I csn't stand being in the same general area as her. So I took the shrimp off the stove early and risked my life to run away from her. Ugh. AND I AM SOOO COLD.


I just want my mommy to be here to make me gravestone soup and give me ginger ale and coke and all the blankets I could ever ever desire. And I want my daddy to be here to make me eggs and give me a blessing and make sure I am comfortable. I hope he has a wonderful birthday :) He is the bestest daddy EVER!

Kinda Annoyed

I started out having the best week ever, as you will read in a later post, but the last couple days have been supercrappy. Well maybe just kinda crappy. but still, there was crap in them. Here are a few of the major players....

My Science Study Group

Usually I love these boys. It's me and three boys (Ben, Dass, and Spencer) and I just love that ratio :) So it's really hot and cold with these boys. One time we'll be having the best study session EVER and then the next I swear they're all on their periods. Like ok so Dass alwayss has to be somewhere, so he usually leaves a couple minutes early. So one day Spencer got fed up with this and he was like, "Well I guess we should hurry this up so Dass can leave early....as usual." And they glared at each other for like, five minutes after that. And they were all mad about something and I was just looking around at them really bewildered and I half expected them to turn to me and ask if I had any midol at any given moment. And then proceed to pull a chocolate bar out of their backpacks. I'm not kidding.


In addition to these random mood swings they sometimes remember they're boys and that I am a girl. So they have certain expectations of me. "Nicole, we really like cupcakes....just saying." So I'm like the official baker for our study sessions, which I don't mind because I have a kitchen and baking reminds me of Gina (MISS her) plus I think that it's cute when study sessions have some cupcakes like, in this Easter-y basket in the middle. I've never gone the whole nine yards like that but you understand. What bothers me about this is that they think this should be my one and only contribution. Because I'm a girl. Whatever, that kind of naivete is actually kind of adorable but then it gets tiring after 0.2 seconds.


But what really bothers me is that sometimes I'll grab the laptop and I'll write something and it'll actually be really good and they'll all be like, "oh wow Nicole good job! we should have you type more often." And then they never do. And it takes like, a billion years to get them to hand it over. I'm like, here's a science experiment for you....how long till Nicole explodes?? And do you really want to find out?


And then Spencer tries to be all nice to me about it and I'm just like no stop it just shut up and fix it. And I get very irritated.

My Homesickness

I don't believe in being homesick. I always thought people who got homesick were losers. I think that the reason I'm homesick is because of the above reasons. I am used to my friends not being liars. I'm not used to being around all these Mormons (even though I do like it a lot). I'm not used to not having at least one of my BFFs at easy access. I'm not used to being without Julie. I'm not used to not having my birdies kindly perch on my shoulder and sing to me. I'm not used to not having a cute lil car to drive around in. I'm not used to choosing my groceries and my bedtime and whether I go to class or church or not.

Giving Blood

I tried to give blood a couple days ago, and my iron was at 12.4, 0.1 below the required 12.5. I am sooo sad about this and even though the Blood Drive lady was so nice and said I made her day and everything, I still am taking this really hard. I prepped for this. I ate SOOO much spinach and I even had some steak and I drank orange juice and ate an orange because apparently vitamin C helps your body absorb iron better. But it wasn't good enough! And I am so sad. I'm supposed to try again today but I think I'll be depressed and do math homework and shower instead.

Bad Hair Days

I AM SO MAD AT MY BANGS!! They keep growing and growing and they look really greasy and gross and ugly today. And that makes me sad :(

Now I understand why people say that college is so much harder than High School. It's not just academic-wise, it's also because it is a huge adjustment. And yes, it is also so much more fun than you've ever had but it's like medicine. Even if it cures your headache there are side effects. I'm getting a lot of negative side effects right now.

I think I just need to sleep and then I'll feel better.