BYU-I hates coca-cola

Today I woke up bright and early. Well, not bright, but certainly early. It was not bright because the sun was not out yet. It would not be up for some time. Because it was 4:14 in the morning.


Why? I thought to myself. Why are you awake this early? My brain did not answer, but my stomach did. This is what is said....


I HATE YOU NICOLE I WANT TO MAKE YOU SO MISERABLE SO I AM GOING TO HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND HURT AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.


I stumbled out of bed, shivering, and blindly ransacked my drawers for my faithful friend, pepto-bismal.


OH SO YOU THINK MEDICINE WILL HELP? HAHAHAHAHAAAAA. you are so naive.


I called my parents, whimpering pathetically as I asked how to properly take pepto. Then I squeezed out a "happy birthday" to my nicest Daddy and hung up.


I expected pepto to cure me, but it did not. Instead it did nothing. It sat there, blinking at me (metaphorically) lazily not doing its job. I was sad. I could not fall asleep, so I stayed up doing homework. Occasionally I would have moments of relief, but they were few and far between. Mostly I was sitting in uncomfortable positions, angrily staring at my psychology book or the computer screen. A couple times I really thought I was going to throw up, and I was sooo happy. Throwing up is a gross experience, but I would rather a moment of pain so I could get my sad lil butt back to bed. Well, I did throw up. Pepto-bismal. My body had apparently fired it. Hmph.


Finally I felt like I could brave my bed. And may I mention that I am SO COLD?! And it's 34* today! For those of you who are unaware of my new life as an Inuit, I am now very hardened to the cold. Today is kinda a nice day. Much better than the negatives Rexburg so kindly dips down into so often. It's almost like Spring I tell you. Anyway. So I piled on almost all my blankets last night AND turned on my mattress heater and I am STILL freezing. I am sad :(


So after that I kept waking up every 15/20 minutes or so just to lay there in agony as my stupid stomach punched me in the face repeatedly (metaphorically).


So my parents called me later all concerned and cute and I love them and I chatted with them for awhile and they told me to drink coca-cola. May I just say, they should re-label coca-cola SWEETENED TAR. That is precisely what it is. I honestly do not understand what everyone sees in this so disgusting beverage. It is like that person that you really don't like because they are stupid idiots but everyone else loves them, and you just cannot wrap your head around it. Coke is disgusting, and apparently I am not the only one who feels this way. After my math class I went to the MC to get some. I looked and looked and looked, and did I find any? NO. Because BYU-I hates coca-cola.


They really do. Not a one in sight. I am very angry about this. All I want is a freaking coke. So I got a root beer, but apparently they make things worse. So I just went and got a 7-UP with Caylin, because she and Brittany love me and came and visited and wished me well. They are so nice :)


And whyyy am I sick?? I ate bad shrimp. Because my roommate's rat-friend was over and I csn't stand being in the same general area as her. So I took the shrimp off the stove early and risked my life to run away from her. Ugh. AND I AM SOOO COLD.


I just want my mommy to be here to make me gravestone soup and give me ginger ale and coke and all the blankets I could ever ever desire. And I want my daddy to be here to make me eggs and give me a blessing and make sure I am comfortable. I hope he has a wonderful birthday :) He is the bestest daddy EVER!