Ready? Heck yes.

Ok so I have been thinking a lot about college lately, as you can prolly tell from the multiple posts dedicated to the subject, and at first I was really worried. My first one or two years in a new school is never good for me. It takes me awhile to get into the groove of things, and this is the reason for my hatred of 6th grade and 9th and 10th grade. I just didn't like them.

For the longest time I didn't get why this was such an issue for me, and I feared that my first couple years of college would be marred with the same bad transitioning that was fast becoming my trademark. Then it dawned on me like, three days ago. Pay close attention.

The reason those years sucked was because I wasn't ready for them.

In 5th grade, I had a ton of great friends. I did not want to move on to middle school, and I was absolutely not ready for 6th grade. In 8th grade, I loved my life. I had fabulous friends, a guaranteed leading role in every play, I was absolutely first chair flute, and school was easy. I was absolutely not ready for high school and all the huge changes that came with it. I wasn't ready to lose friends to other schools and other cliques. I wasn't ready to not be the best in band and choir and drama. I wasn't ready to be shoved into classes filled with seniors and sophomores and juniors. I wasn't ready to make almost all new friends. Simply put, I wasn't ready.

The big difference between me then and me now is that I am finally ready. I don't know of another time in my life that I have been more ready for a change. I am so done with high school. I'm having fun, and I love my friends and I will miss them, but I know they feel the same way that I do. It's time for us to move. To discover ourselves. To step outside of our tight circle that we have belonged to all our lives. We are ready. I wanna graduate already!

My attitude is also fueled by my desire to not be anything like a certain person, so I would have to give props to someone who I shall call Pollin Carker. This boy is the very essence of not being ready. He graduated last year, but it is kinda hard to tell because he is always back for something. It's like, dude, you're in college. Stop hanging around high school. I feel like out-of-state schools were made for people like him. If only he would take advantage of them....

Anyway. I am so excited for college, and even though it is 10 months away, time flies when you're having fun, so here comes the time of my life :)

My New Future Take Two

Okayy so my life has taken another twist. It seems that as soon as I have it all planned out someone pulls the carpet out from under me. Alright so last time I talked about my future, I was absolutely certain that I would be attending BYU-Idaho Fall-Winter semester. Well. Apparently not. Apparently I didn't register fast enough, so Winter-Spring semester here I come....in 10 months.

Winter semester starts Tuesday January 5th (although my letter says January 4th) and goes to Saturday, April 10th. I'm guessing that Spring starts almost immediately afterwards, and goes to sometime in July.

At first, I was really upset by this. I felt like it was insult to injury. I mean, I was already not going to the school of my choice, and now I couldn't even get the track of my choice?? I was very mad. I made brownies with Gina and dumped the batter on the letter to teach it a lesson. This anger went on all of Saturday. I slept all day, and then lounged around. Julia invited me to go to a Pep Rally with her, but I didn't feel like it. I also didn't feel like attending Julie's party. I just didn't want to socialize. I wanted to be alone in my messy room. But then I realized that I didn't want the messy room part. So I cleaned it for like two hours. It looks very nice now :) And then I took a shower and socialized a bit with Gwen and Sara. And then I realized that things always look better when they are clean :)

All of this depression was very distressing to my Dad, who scurried around trying to make me feel better. What I really wanted was my phone back and to let my upsettedness out on the pedal, but I didn't even ask. I hate hearing "no." Instead Dad urged me to clean my room, do my homework, and not sleep all the time. He offered multiple times to make me scrambled eggs, his specialty. I kept saying no and just as I was making them for myself awhile later (I didn't want to bother him) he came bounding up the stairs and helpfully completed the task for me, all the while telling me things like, "this could be the best thing to ever happen to you." "would you like cheese with this?" and "with all the money you earn in those ten months you could buy a car at the end of college!"

It was very nice of him, and I think he feels immensely bad for me and my situation, but he's determined for it to get better. So, thanks Dad!

My mom is very excited for me to be staying another 10 months instead of the 5 we had thought. She was also excited when I told her about the list I am gonna make of things that I WILL complete before I head off to college and gave me some ideas. I am gonna make the actual list tonight, and I am very excited about it.

Filibusters

I think filibusters are the most hilarious, genius things on earth. When I first heard the term in 10th grade government class, I was like, ohmigosh this is so funny. If you don't like what's going down at the Senate (and you are a Senator), all you have to do is talk so long and on such boring subjects that you wear everyone down till they get to the "ok! fine! you win, take whatever you want," mode.

I bet that most senators groan when they hear the term "filibuster", but if I were a senator, I would love filibuster days. I would come into work fully equipped with a pillow, a blanket, an inflatable mattress, Merci, a tissue box, orange juice, several Nancy Drew mysteries, a laptop, and an iPod. I'm not sure if all that stuff is allowed, but trust me, I would be one happy camper on filibuster days. I mean, really. They are being paid to just sit there. Unless they are the one doing the filibusting.

If I was doing the filibusting I would pack orange juice, Merci, cough drops, lots of water, encouraging notes from my family and friends to keep me going, and my supplies....hehehe. I would get so much sleep beforehand it would be crazy. I would also go on vocal rest, in order to spare my poor throat as much pain as possible.

If I was filibusting I think I would first read my blog aloud. Then several Nancy Drew mysteries and then I would prolly sing a bit. I don't think I would run out of Nancy Drew mysteries before they caved, but in case I did I would have the entire Clique series ready. The reason I picked this obnoxious series is precisely for that reason. They are obnoxious. Come on, they're about a bunch of rich 7th graders and all the drama they go through. All the men in the Senate would rather eat a live snail than hear Massie drone on and on about how Alicia is trying to up her beta status and take over her position as alpha. Not to mention all the boy drama and shopping trips that occur. Mhmmmhmm. I would have such a great time filibusting. I think I would also crack open Covergirl and Seventeen. At one point I would most def read some Spanish tabloids. I would also read each senator his horoscope. I might even toss in an old Western tale.

Yepper doodle the more I think about it the more I want to become a senator for the sole purpose of one day filibusting my heart out.

Rude Awakenings

I have had two in the past week. And they have been very rude.

#1

The first one was when I was pondering an acquentince of mine who has some personality traits that are fantastic and make him a great guy, but then there's this whole other side to him that make him soo annoying to be around sometimes. I realized that the thing about him that I cannot stand is not several little things, but one big thing. And that is that he has the uncanny ability to know exactly what you're feeling and when he gets mad he knows just what to say to make it hurt.

I have heard many people say that they hate people who are exactly like them. Whenever conversations like this come up I really had nothing to say because in truth I had never met anyone exactly like myself. Now this boy and I are very different in other things, but in this aspect we are identical. We have the ability to read people and yes, we sometimes do use it for bad. I just never thought of it before today. I always deemed it one of his greatest faults, and certainly something I would never do, but then I realized that I have and use this trait, too. Not often, but I wish it were never. Anyway, this was my rude awakening. It was a two in one; that I wasn't completely different from everyone else, and also that I shared a characteristic that I immensely dislike.

#2

The second rude awakening is something I found in a blog called "Mormon Bachelor Pad." It's written by these two single, RM roommates who live in Salt Lake City. They write about everything, and it is completely anonymous. Only five people know who the writers are, including the writers themselves.

So I thought this was very interesting to finally see true-blue male thoughts. It was very strange. I had no idea boys thought so much. Really I think it's one of the best kept secrets of mankind. I have always believed that oh-so-believable lie that boys don't have brains, and if they do, they think very little. They don't plan ahead or think too much about the past and they don't gossip. There were only a handful of boys I believed capable of all the thinking girls do, and one of them I'm pretty sure is gay. So that's why reading Mormon Bachelor Pad was so eye-opening to me. It's like finding a book containing the secrets of life or something. I'm serious. Its crazy.

While I am incredibly grateful for all Mormon Bachelor Pad has revealed, I must say I am slightly disappointed. It seems like every other post Jake is making out with this really nice girl who he knows he's never going to talk to again. But she doesn't know, so he talks about that, too, like how unaware this poor girl is. He says he feels bad, but I've noticed that he never feels bad enough to stop himself from trying to make-out with her. However whenever this came up I would just cross my fingers that my sisters would never cross the paths of such naughty boys. I figured that it was a very remote possibility that they would ever run across boys anything like these sometimes heartless individuals. That's when I read this....

"We're pretty normal/average guys. A lot of you are screaming (via typed medium) that YOU know someone who's perfect and sweet and opens your door for you on dates, and whispers sweet nothings into your ear, and bares his testimony and volunteers to give the closing prayer in Sunday School. I've got news for you people. WE'RE those guys. WE do all those things. We might be in your ward. You might be coming over to our house on Monday for FHE. You'd never know."

I sat with my mouth hanging open looking at the screen for a full five minutes. Ohmigosh. I thought. Ohmigosh I can't believe that the illusion of a gentleman is just that; an illusion. I felt sad. I felt mad. I felt fooled. I found myself questioning every nice thing a guy had ever done for me or my sisters or my friends. I was like, he was not opening the door to be nice, he was opening the door to check out her butt! Or, he was texting five girls at the same time and saying the exact same thing!

How rude. How very, very rude. My opinion of boys has gone down immensely.

So that was my second rude awakening. I do not like these rude awakenings one bit, especially so many at a time. I'm starting to believe that ignorance really is bliss.

My New Future

All my life I had assumed I would go to BYU Provo. It was just as inevitable to me as waking up every morning, or loving books by Shannon Hale. My mother went to BYU Provo, my older sisters both go there, I know so many people who have gone or are going. "Of course you'll get in!" They would exclaim whenever I would mention my desire. I assumed they were right. I assumed that even if my grades didn't make the cut, my superb essays and church recommendations and astounding SAT scores and the fact that I had taken AP classes would help the admissions people to overlook the ugly grades I had.

Of course I assumed wrong, as did almost everyone else. I think the only person who knew all along that I wouldn't make it in was Kelly. And I guess myself, in a way. It was very sad for me when I got the email that said, in big bold black letters, DENIED. I didn't laugh and take a picture like my friend Matthew did. Instead I drank hot chocolate, cried, called my sister Heather, visited BYU-Idaho's website, saw a picture of unattractive boys, frantically asked the sister missionary at our house if boys there were cute, felt better when she said yes and invited me to look at her pictures on her facebook page, which her attractive 17-year-old brother was maintaining (potential date?), called Julia and Gina, felt very depressed, and went to bed oddly determined to get straight As.

So this is the beginning of my new future, the future I always assumed was filled with BYU acceptance letters, fun times with my sisters in Provo, and surrounded by those breathtaking Utah mountains. Now, my future is filled with people I don't know, a state I've never been to but is supposedly filled with potatoes and farmers, bitterly cold winters, and weekend bus trips to visit Kelly and Heather. However, there are a couple good things from this....

~ Julia is going to BYU Idaho, but I have a strange sense of foreboding about this, and the weirdest idea that we will grow apart. It makes me sad :(

~ I will be able to stock up on the cu-UTEST winter clothes. I am planning on getting a purple coat like Julie's (70% off --> $25.60) and lots of boots :)

~ People always say I am good at making friends, so now is the ultimate chance to prove myself. For the first time of my life I am stepping in territory that is unknown in every way. Before, the most daring thing I ever did was join band instead of orchestra. Now I am going off to a new state, a new school, an unknown campus, and I will probably take Winter semester, which I hear is Idaho at its worst, because it's so cold. I hate cold. I love sitting inside and watching snow but it takes a lot to get me to step outside. In Idaho, I will have to do this all the time. I won't have a car, and I'll have to navigate my way through the stinging winds and falling snow. At least I'll be able to wear my cute off-white hat.

So that is my new future. I think I just need time to adjust to the idea, but I am determined to love life at BYU-Idaho.

Senioritis

I hate my senioritis

It makes me sad and blue.

And as I frown about it,

Senioritis says, "I hate you, too."

I hate my senioritis,

it is selfish as can be.

"You know you'll never do that assignment,

You're too distracted by me!"

I hate my senioritis,

it makes me feel so bad.

It taunts me as it says,

"Those straight As you'll never have."

I hate my senioritis,

it's making my year suck.

And as I stare at the mighty list I have,

it seems I'm out of luck.

I hate my senioritis,

I wish it would go away.

I could do with some willpower

but Senioritis laughs, "you're stuck with me today!"

I hate my senioritis.

And I wonder as my spirits sink low,

Is there a way out of this useless state?

Well if I just keep sitting here I guess I'll never know.

I should be doing English right now....

If there is one thing you should know about me it is that I am a procrastinator. I am a serious procrastinator. Like, really really really I procrastinate allllllllll the time. Right now for example, it is approximately 1:47 am Wednesday, February 17th 2010 and I am going to school in less than 8 hours (we have a 2 hour delay). Here is what I have to get done in the those 8 hours....

1. Quote Project (English)
2. 10 notecards on noodletools (English)
3. A 3-page paper on 3 of them (English)
4. A timed writing (Whap)
5. Digestive System Chart (Anatomy)
6. I am positively certain I have something else for English, but I don't know what

So I know what you're thinking, "Nicole's teacher is crazy!" Well, she is. But the thing is, I've kinda've had 12 days to do all this. Maryland was hit with this massive snow storm so we've had no school for the past week and a few days. The first few days I was just letting myself calm my brain down from all this school. Then last Thursday, I did my math homework and had full intentions of doing all my other homework. But then I didn't want to. And so I kept putting off my homework until now.

My procrastination is a big problem, but I feel slightly better about myself because I know that in the end, Ketty will probably stay up all night, Joey won't do it, Thomas won't do it either and won't come into school tomorrow, or if he does, he and Johnny will do it during aiding, and finally, I feel better because Michael sent out a facebook inbox to all the AP Englishers and said basically that he hates English and we shouldn't do all that Miss. C's asked us to do. And then everyone's status was about how much they hate English. I feel better now, because everyone but Gina and Sam and Sarah are in the same boat as me. Gina and Sarah and Sam always do their homework early on.

I think now is as good time as any to talk about my English class. I'll go by rows.

Left side, Back row

Mariam Ogonsonwa (yeah....I really have no idea how to spell that last name): Overachiever. Whenever she says anything it is about the extra paper she wrote or scholarship she is trying to get. And when she talks in lit circles I seriously fall asleep. She's nice enough, just kinda ridiculous.

Hager: Hey girl heyy!! That's what I call her, because one day sophomore year she told me that whenever someone says "hey girl" she thinks they are talking to her. She is really sweet and quiet. She is also totally adorable.

Tia: doesn't talk much, but is nice.

Miles: Most ridiculous kid ever. He likes Julia's older sister Kara and wants to marry her and actually told us one day at lunch that he would only marry Kara so he could take advantage of her and then he would leave her. After that, Julia announced that we would be eating in the band room for lunch from then on. He kind of annoys me I'm not gonna lie.

Left Side, Front Row

Joyce: I don't really know her, but every single day she comes into class late or sometimes she doesn't come. She really hates English, but apparently likes to write.

Emma: I get the constant vibe that she just doesn't like that our class is full of band geeks. She doesn't seem to like any of us, but she is nice if you talk to her.

Shane: Shane is really tall and talks in a really low monotone. For this reason, he is a constant source of amusement for me. I remember in 10th grade English he and this other kid would make videos for every English project and all the actors would get really into it and then Shane would come on the screen and say everything in monotone. Even his screams. It was soooo funny.

Center, Front Row

Jenn: I'm going to put this as delicately as possible. Jenn is sometimes nice, sometimes....not. She is very smart, but has a way of making everyone around her feel attacked. But one time she talked Miss. C out of giving us another essay, so sometimes she makes the good list.

Soriaya: Absolutely the cutest person I know. If someone told me there was a goddess in our English class, I would know instantly that they were talking about Soriaya. She just is the sweetest thing and always sparkles and wears cute and original clothes and makes me the happiest girl whenever I talk to her. She is sweet sweet sweet! One day last year I was sad and she wrote me the nicest note :)

Sarah: I've known Sarah since forever, but this year we have finally hit a golden stride. I really like talking to her, but I don't often in English 'cause she talks to Soriaya. Sarah loves to sing and act and is in Madrigals with me. Sarah loves the Bachelor and she mentioned it one day and now I love it too! Sarah absolutely never procrastinates and says water "woter". If I hang around her long enough I start saying it, too.

Center, Middle row

Johnny: Johnny is quite the character. He can kinda be a jerk sometimes, which is why I didn't like him at the beginning of the year. Johnny thought this was hilarious and so, when he came to our class two weeks into the school year, he decided the best seat for him was right next to me. At first I endeavored to make him regret that decision, but then one day we had a sub and we played all these fun games, so I don't bother him so much anymore. Johnny and I go through stages. Sometimes we talk a lot, and everyone gets mad at us because we never shut up. Sometimes we don't talk at all and we're really moody with each other. It's kinda annoying because I never know what kind of day it is for him, and some days I go away from English thinking that he is a splendid boy and others I go away from English wishing I had a target with his face on it and lots and lots of darts.

Me!

Jenna: Jenna is one of the most hilarious person I know. She's so funny! She loves the Office, like me! and we rejoice in quoting, "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." One day during Marching Band I noticed that Keith is Andy Bernard, and we love talking about it together, but Keith doesn't and won't respond when we call him Andy. Whatever, Andy.

One day, we (Jenna, Julia, and I) were eating lunch and we had been kicked out the Orchestra room and so a bunch of us were sitting in the music hallway eating our lunches. I rather resented being reduced to eating my lunch while sitting on the dirty ground, but we couldn't go to the Cafeteria 'cause then Miles would eat with us, we couldn't go to the Band room because the Orchestra was practicing in there, we couldn't go to the Choir room because none of us wanted to go to lunch choir, we aren't allowed to eat in the music tech lab, and no one wanted to get keys to open a practice room. So there we were, pitifully eating our humble lunches in the hallway when I spoke my feelings on the matter. "I feel like a homeless person."

Jenna rolled her eyes and said patiently, "Nicole, contrary to popular belief, this is not a street corner."

"I said homeless not prostitute!" I exclaimed, scandalized.

Jenna turned soooo red it was so funny. I love quoting this to her, and she acts like she hates it, but seriously, it was one of the most quotable and hilarious things she's ever said in her life.

Jenna loves swimming and saw Michael Phelps once and she called his name and he looked at her!

Jenna also went and helped rebuild New Orleans. There she met an infamous drug dealer/gangster named Weezy or something like that. I'm so jealous.

Chels: Her real name is Chelsea, but I call her Chels. Chelsea drinks at least two red bulls a day and wants more than anything to go to Princeton. She is seriously smart and works really hard. She is kinda spazzy but in a rather hilarious way. She loves dinosaurs and went through this stage sophomore year when she kept pretending to be a t-rex. I got her a t-rex stuffed animal for her birthday that year :)

Center, Back row

Dan: Dan is also in Madrigals and he plays every string instrument imaginable. Miss C. absolutely adores the boy, and one day she had this man come in and talk to us and he called Dan "dreamy hair guy" so now Miss C. does, too. Dan goes out with Sammy and they are seriously the cutest couple ever. He is really nice and is very dedicated to making Madrigals the best it can be. He;s our new student director.

Sammy: Sammy is this adorable Filipino and she has the prettiest hair ever. Sammy seriously has the voice of an angel but it is often overshadowed by everyone else 'cause she is very quiet. Sammy loves volleyball and is rather mellow. She is nice and although we aren't as close as we used to be, I was rather excited when one day almost everyone was away from our English class and we sat and chatted and gossiped the whole class long.

Gina: Gina is absolutely one of my most favorite people ever. She joined the track team this year and loves it! She is impossibly skinny and when I say impossibly I know what I'm talking about, because she is often over my house and we make cookies and Hawaiian haystacks and muffins and she eats it and never gains any weight. Ever. Gina is my neighbor and we hang out lots. Mostly we make food and watch Arthur, or we do homework. But no matter what we're doing, we are chatting as we go. Gina is very easy to talk to and is very smart. Gina always gets good grades and never procrastinates. Go Gina!

Veronica: Veronica is also intellectually gifted, and it amazes me that she takes all these AP classes and wants to go to Boston College but all she wants to do with it is be a pastry chef. However, she makes very yummy cupcakes. For Ketty's birthday Gina, Veronica, and I made this cake and it was seriously gorgeous. And Veronica had this whole box just for her cake decorating supplies. I love Veronica's car and she loves giraffes.

Thomas: Thomas is notorious for taking 3-day weekends. He hardly ever comes to school on Monday and along with myself and Joey, he is the poster-child for senioritis. Thomas plays trumpet really well and is also in Madrigals, so he sings well, too.

Right side, First row

Kevin: If Thomas is the poster-child for senioritis, Kevin is the poster-child for asian. He works his butt off and gets really upset when he doesn't know exactly what a teacher wants. He asks a lot of questions, and in 8th grade Mr. Dunbar gave hims a limit on the number of questions he could ask daily. When he reached his quota that was it. Kevin didn't much like it, but many teachers also put a stopper on his many inquiries. Mr. Fairbanks did, and so did Ms. Brown. Kevin never procrastinates. He plays cello and diligently practices every 6th period. I'm not a stalker, I just see him on my way to Madrigals.

Ketty: I have mentioned Ketty in one of my previous entries, so you all know she is cute as a button. Ketty takes a lot of hard classes, and she pulls all-nighters like, every night of her life. She wears sweats as much as I do so I feel happy with her around. Ketty plays flute and is rather good at it.

During Marching Band she was always late to practice, and one day I totally saved her butt 'cause she was late and Mr. Dubbs asked Seul and I where she was. Noting his contempt for tardiness and the immense frown on his face and also Seul's unfortunate habit of accidentally saying the truth as brutally as possible, I said quickly that Ketty was going through a hard time, and might be a bit late. Seul shot me a weird look, but I knew I had done the right thing. If Seul had answered, it would have gone something like this:

Mr. Dubbs: Where's Ketty?

Seul: Oh you know, she's probably not even in the car yet. She never comes on time she's probably napping or doing homework.

Mr. Dubbs: But it's Marching Band!

Seul: Ehh....whatever, Mr. Dubbs.

Lucky for Ketty I did the talking, so instead of fainting Mr. Dubbs nodded solemnly and when Ketty showed up late (as usual), instead of yelling at her, he clapped his hand on her shoulder and informed the bewildered girl that if she ever needed to talk, he was always there for her. Ketty had no idea what he was talking about, but she nodded and then joined Seul and I in stretching. You're welcome, Ketty.

Joey: As said before, Joey is another poster-child for senioritis. I feel like I'm the worst at it, but then I'll come to school and he's managed to be one step behind me. It makes me feel good :) Joey also happens to be a genius. He's seriously so smart. Joey is in love with Ketty and I love discussing it.

Sara: Sara G. is also in Madrigals, and she sings so pretty! One day sophomore year in Food and Nutrition we sang the national anthem together and everyone cheered for us. Sara loves volleyball and plays viola. She always has cute clothes and reminds me slightly of Erica Meiners. She is really funny and tall and pretty and I love talking to her the rare times that I do.

Whew! So that's my English class, and now it's 3:08 am. Go Nicole! So I'm gonna sign off and work really hard and try to get in bed by 5:23. Let's see if I can do it! Ugh. Sometimes I really hate myself.