My roommate is dating this guy who actually dated her old roommate, but don't worry he is NOT a player. His name is Tom and her name is Tara, and I want them to get married.
At first I was a bit wary of Tom, but that feeling was quickly overcome by awe. This kid, when he gets up to bat, is all home-runs, people. He took her on like, 5 dates in like a week and a half. Tara had like, 6 boys around when I came to school according to Merrin, but Tom just thought she was so awesome and he snatched her off the dating market right quick. Tom really went for it. In observing them I have come to conclusion that they as a couple are something that I aspire to. I want to have a relationship like that, but not now. In a few years.
Now, they've only been dating about two weeks, so whyyy have I gone all Mormon Standard Time on us?? Welllll it was quite unexpected. Tom and Tara were sitting on the couch, talking to me about some stuff, and for whatever reason Tom started talking about how he first noticed Tara (this time around). He said he was sitting in church and all the sudden he saw this girl, and she had really beautiful hair (see ladies?? Men DO notice our efforts!).
He wanted to just touch the hair, and so he leaned forward and introduced himself. I imagine that he smiled all cockily and was super-excited to meet this girl that had such sensible shampoo sense. In his head they would be dating by the end of Sunday School and he would be the only boy to ever touch her hair again. With all these optimistic thoughts going through his mind, I am sure he was very surprised that when he leaned forward and said, "Hi, I'm Tom," Tara glanced back at him and, giving him a dismissive look, said, "Yeah, I know who you are." And then whipped her magnificent hair around in a gesture that clearly stated, not interested.
Tom said that he went home and told his dad about it, and that it kinda made him laugh. But he really wanted to date Tara, and so ask her out he did.
It was at the point of this story where he imitated Tara saying "yeah, I know who you are." that made me sit up straight. I looked over at this couple sitting on the couch across the room from me and I felt like I was looking at my own parents. It was at that moment when I was like, "ohmigosh. I am looking at a future family."
I knowww this is dramatic, but I am telling you- Tara and Tom are going to get married. They just are.
Another thing that sealed the deal for me is a quote from Gordon B Hinckley where he says,
"True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion."
Tom and Tara are anxiously concerned for each other's well-being. Tom is so good to Tara. She got this awful cold a week or so ago and he brought her soup- just because! They weren't even dating at the time! And I need to add that it is sooo cute when she talks about him. She just gets so happy and smiley and giggly :)
Tom is very caring. Tara says that he has made it a point to learn all our names and that he wants to get to know us. It is very nice having him around, I have decided. It's kind-of like having a big brother.
Tom told us this story tonight about how this girl in his ward just now got engaged to this man, and he had been divorced. So they've been engaged I guess three days now, and apparently he went over to her apartment and just yelled at her for like, three hours about something yesterday. Tom was sooo mad. He does not count that as acceptable behavior. This demonstrates that he will treat Tara right. Tara is very mild, and Tom is not so much, but I'm glad that he is not the yell-y type.
Tom is also very humble. He talked about how great girls are, and you know I appreciated that. Tom recognizes that he is not perfect, but he is trying his hardest to be the best that he can be. But how he said it was through a series of other statements, and I did not get a superiority vibe off of it. That made me very happy.
It also made me realize though, that Tom wasn't always this person that he is now. He was once a stupid teenage boy. I bet at some point he was just plain big-headed. His character is a product of the evolution of his priorities, something that just takes time.
Tonight I basically word-vomited all over Tom and Tara, but they didn't mind. They just sat there and listened and gave me advice and built me up and made me feel very heard and very understood and very awesome. As I sat there talking to them I felt like I was talking to my parents. I mentioned this to them and Tara felt old, but I don't think they should feel old, I think they should feel wise.
They were able to provide all these insights that I had never even thought of before. I lovedd talking to them. I was so delighted in their carefully thought-out responses. I felt very at peace with the points they made. They weren't judgmental, just very kind and eager to help me think. They make a great team, and one day they will make excellent parents.
The level of maturity that they are at is something I know I will have to wait to reach, but I am okay with taking my time. Seeing Tom and Tara and their relationship as well as individually with their personalities makes me realize how much I do not know about grown-up love. Their relationship, if it pans out the way I know it will, will blossom into this amazing, ever-lasting love- the kind that doesn't fade as looks do but just gets stronger bc it is built on this foundation of mutual respect and enjoyment of each other's company.
I love them as a couple. It is not awkward being around them. They aren't weirdly affectionate or anything. They just exude this comfortable, happy, content vibe and they genuinely care for each other and those around them.
Based off of my observations of my parents and a few other couples, I have had a pretty good idea of what my relationship with my future husband will be look like, but this time around is different, because Tom and Tara are not my parents or Young Women's leaders. They are just a few years older than me. I'm living with one of them. I'm seeing this fantastic love story unfold before my eyes, and it makes me happy.
So, yes. One day I would like to find myself in a relationship like Tom's and Tara's, and while I am not currently seeking my future honey-smooch, I will say that the bar has definitely been raised. To Tom level.
And lemme tell you boys, it'll be hard to measure up.